Loving Fun

2011

2011-12-30T16:41:00.005-06:00

Where oh where did 2011 go so quickly?

2009 and 2010 were hard years for us. We had some losses and trials but it only prepared us to be more grateful when things were well. 2011 was a good year for us. Don't get me wrong, we had our share of trials and sadness, but we accepted it and moved forward and had an amazing year. We started off with tea parties and prayers before every tea party! (thank you Ms. Angie!!)

We were abe to spend lots of time with family and meet family we have yet to meet in person! My aunt, my cousin, her boyfriend and their daughter all came to the states and oh my, to be worlds apart, I know 2 little girls who are very much alike!!

This was the first year for Ella to play tball. However, she is a girly girl and thought she should be able to play in a dress and flip flops. Her dad was not impressed and neither was her Poppa! She begrudingly wore shorts, socks and athletic shoes.

Tanner got a taste of being in the audience and cheering for his sister. He was very gracious and always positive for her! (one of many reasons he is so special)

We spent most of our summer swimming and got to get away for a nice relaxing trip to the beach! Tanner LOVED the ocean and Ella LOVED the sand! Hopefully we will be able to plan a trip soon to an amazing beach!!

We got back from vacation and had a few more weeks to relax before starting our year of lasts. This part has been hard for me. Tanner started his last year of elementary and I don't know if I'm ready for him to start Jr. High. I guess I feel like I blinked and his years have passed me by. He is growing and changing and becoming sooooo awesome. Makes my heart proud that he is kind, considerate, respectful, driven and loving as he is. He has also gone through a growth spurt and is almost as tall as I am (eeek!)

Not only is it Tanner's last year in elementary, but it's Ella's last year at Ms. Angie's. I know I will miss her tremendously and have loved that we were fortunate enough to have Ms. Angie as a teacher and amazing person in both of my children's lives. Not that we won't ever see her, but she has taught my children and has helped shape them into the people they will become and I will miss her! And I do have to add, that I was afraid that we wouldn't ever break through Ella's stubborness, but alas we have and I am truly grateful that we had someone patient enough to do just that (because my patience was almost out!)

We also got to have another year of Tanner playing flag football. I love watching him play.

It seems like since school started we have been running here and there and everywhere. We have been busy. It seems like soon after school started Tanner started gearing up for UIL. He stayed late everyday after school and worked hard as well as his teachers and their hard work paid off. He placed first in two events and his team placed first in two events. He was upset because the events he wanted to place in he didn't place. I told him that he still did an awesome job and we (all of his family) were very proud of him.

We are ending the year quietly and that is just fine with me. I have a full and joyful heart for the wonderful year we have had and cannot wait to see what the New Year has in store for us. I have decided not to make resolutions as I usually don't keep them but I did promise myself that we would have another amazing year. We would still have each other, love, happiness and prosper.

From my family to you and yours, We wish you a Prosperous, Blessed and Happy New Year!!

Thankful

2011-11-23T19:51:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving brings up a time of thankfulness. I heard what if God only allowed you to have the things you thanked him for the night before. I heard this several months ago and really took it to heart. So every night in my prayers I thank God for all the many amazing blessings he has given me.

~I am thankful for God's mercies, forgiveness, love, patience, understanding that he so freely gives
~I am thankful for my children
~I am thankful God thought enough of me to be their mom and to try to guide, love and support them daily
~I am thankful for my parents who have been so loving, caring, giving and supportive
~I am thankful for my sister and her family whom I adore and love
~I am thankful for grandmothers and my great grandmother who have taught me how to laugh, especially my great grandmother
~I am thankful for my family
~I am thankful for my friends, my true friends love me as much as I love them and don't judge me
~I am thankful that I am able to work and that I have two jobs to help take care of my kids
~I am thankful that my children are healthy
~I am thankful I am healthy
~I am thankful that I have a roof over my head
~I am thankful that I have a car that can take my children where they need to go
~I am thankful to be able to provide food for my family
~I am thankful for the troops who fight daily for our freedoms and make sacrifices so we can live in the land of the free
~I am thankful for the family of troops who make just as many sacrifices as their loved ones who are fighting for our country
~I am thankful that I can attend church without fear of persecution
~I am thankful there are people who love my children as much as I do
~I am thankful that I can laugh, and talk, and see and hear

These are a few of the things I thank God for every night in my prayers to him. From my family to you and yours, Happy Thanksgiving and many many blessings!!

12 Steps

2011-09-13T13:59:00.008-05:00

The other night I was watching a show that was dealing with drug addicts and alcoholics. I love watching these shows because in my every day job I typically spend a lot of time trying to help them and I like watching other people's stories with whom I am not connected. That night they were revisiting some of the addicts 150 days out of rehab. One guy said that he had a hard time in the past remaining sober, but this time he realized he never admitted he was powerless. For what ever reason that stuck with me. The next morning I woke up and while I was taking a shower I remembered him saying that and realized that it applies to life in general. Then I started thinking about the 12 steps of AA. I kind of knew the steps because let's face it, I deal with people in treatment and I deal with their treatment process. But as I was standing in the shower, I was slowly realizing how the 12 steps of AA can be applied to life.

1. Admit we are powerless over alcohol-that our lives have become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people where ever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, try to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If you take out alcohol or addiction, to me these are steps for daily life as well. I am powerless and I know there is a Power greater than myself who can restore my sanity. I am making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I may not like to make a moral inventory of myself, but in order to become who I need to be I know this is a must. I know I have been wrong and have stumbled through life and am ready to have God remove all these defects of my character. I humbly ask him daily to remove my shortcomings. As a Christian I need to look to make amends with those I have hurt and be willing to be Christ like every day. I know I need to take personal inventory daily and be willing to admit when I am wrong and be willing to pray daily and talk with God daily. After learning and continuing to learn I realize there are many more lost souls who need to hear God's word and I know I need to apply the principles I have learned into my daily life.

I by no means am perfect or want to be. I just want to be the best person, mother, daughter, sister I can. I really have no explanation for why they clicked with me when they did. But it's kind of like a light turned on. There was a reason why I was watching what I was watching. Please understand that this is just my way of seeing things I needed to be seeing. That this is kind of my "AHA" moment. I have been studying and reading and learning and talking about my faith and my religion and I am sure I will have many more of those moments and I welcome them with open arms. I have had several of those moments already and each one prepares me for the next. I must say, I feel more at peace every day with my daily struggles.

It's Just Ella!

2011-08-06T22:51:00.005-05:00

Yes, I know this is a little late and yes I know I should have gotten this done sooner, and there is no excuse....so this is about my Ella and her birthday!

I should have known when she was born that she would do things in her own time. After all, I labored for 18 hours before a c-section had to be done, hoping for an answer for why she wouldn't come....she wasn't ready. Should have known then that my precious baby would do things her way and not a moment before she is ready.

And when she got here, she let everyone know she what she thought and her ever faithful brother there to console her. Much like today, he is the first to her when she cries, the first to hug her and ask what is wrong. And she will be the one who will always voice her opinion whether you like what she says or not....It's just Ella.

She is a talker when she is ready to talk. She will follow me through the house as I'm cleaning or doing laundry always telling me stories and what I wouldn't give sometimes for 5 seconds of peace, but .....it's just Ella.

She loves to be silly and dress up. She loves to always climb in my lap and give me a hug, rough sometimes, but a hug just the same. And I will gladly take them any day or time.....

I love that she has a sense of adventure and that she isn't afraid of too many new things. She is willing to take on challenges, on her terms of course. However, if she doesn't, well don't even try to persuade her, because, well, it's just Ella and there is nothing that will change her mind....

It's not that it's JUST Ella, it is just who she is plain and simple. I wouldn't trade my sassy, strong-willed, opinionated, adventurous, silly loving girl for the entire world...No words can fully describe her except....ELLA!!!

Happy Birthday sweet sweet girl! I love you to the moon and back!

Fast and Furious July

2011-08-03T21:42:00.012-05:00

Well, June went lazily by and I couldn't wait for July to get here. Mostly because we had a few things going on and I was really looking forward to them. We are slowly adjusting to my parents not being here. It has been a little tough for the kids, because they enjoy sleeping late and with them not here they have to get up when I go to work and I take them to where they need to go.

Most of our June was spent at the pool and pretty much July has been too. I have been trying to teach Ella to swim to not much avail. I think next year are going to be swimming lessons (ahem Casey? haha).

July we had a family reunion at Lake Kickapoo. We have so much fun and the kids always have a blast. It is so good to see family and visit with those who we only get to see once a year.

Then of course was Ms. Ella's birthday! She turned 5 this year and is growing up way too fast. She is becoming her own beautiful person who is opinionated, stubborn, sassy and unpredictable. I love everything about her. Her and all of her PINK flair!

Then we go on vacation!!! I was in such a need to get away. It didn't matter where we went or what we did as long as we got out of Childress and away from all the stress of daily life. So we went to Galveston. The kids enjoyed the beach, the hotel pool, Moody Gardens and doing nothing in general with me and my mom. Since my parents have helped us out so much, we thought it would be a good idea to have them go. My dad, of course worked, so my mom did get to go and get away for a while herself.We started our trip with a short stay at my sister's where the kids got to play and have lots of fun.

Of course we have to swim with them and my sister will probably kill me, but I love and miss laughing with her. She was trying to put some goggles on and we started laughing so hard when she got them on and I just had to take this picture....

After spending a few nights with them we went on our way!! We played on the beach a few days and spent some time in the pool at the hotel.

I do have to say that I love gerber daisies, but after seeing the beautiful orchids at Moody Gardens, I may be changing my mind...they were absolutely beautiful.

One of the pyraminds there is the discovery pyramid and is very hands on. It has a big life size operation game you can play and the kids loved that.

On our way home we stopped and played again with my sister and her boys at Chuck E Cheese's...

Loved nothing better than being with my family this past month and being able to laugh and relax. Much needed rejuvination before school starts.

Busy Busy

2011-05-18T21:40:00.016-05:00

Since I last posted a lot has been going on....

Tanner's room has stripes and is now put together

Tanner had a birthday party with his friends at Pizza Hut

He wanted a cookie cake for his birthday and asked if he could draw it himself

Ella started t-ball and has enjoyed batting...she would rather play in a dress and flip flops, and really doesn't like catching or throwing...

Then she had her recital at Ms. Kim's....She loves tumbling and actually has more grace and balance than her brother!

We cannot forget her star attraction!! She wants to do it and loves to talk about herself, but when she gets in front of her class, she doesn't say a word, she just gets embarrased.

Our family from Australia came in and we got to meet another cousin, Chloe. She and Ella are about 5 months apart. They are A LOT alike and even look alike too. She LOVES dress up and tea parties as much as Ella!

Easter was soon after they got here and Easter on my dad's side is big. Mostly because of so many people, but the food is always good and we ALWAYS eat WAY too much! I love though getting to spend time with them, talking and enjoying everything about family

Ella wanted to hunt eggs again after we got back home, so I hid them and Tanner decided he could do it one more time, after all, there was chocolate involved!!

Mother's Day Tea at Ms. Angie's is my most favorite by far. She makes some of the best cucumber sandwiches and cookies!

Then more family get together's....more laughing and sweet little kids faces...

Playday for the elementary...

And Ella's graduation from Ms. Angie's (this will not be her last)

Whew! All of this fun and going has us being lazy and wore out

We are ready for things to slow a bit and enjoy the sweeter things of life!! We wish everyone a safe and happy summer!

Tanner is 10!

2011-04-14T14:02:00.007-05:00

Happy Happy Birthday to my sweet son!!

I have wrote this, re-wrote this, edited it and his birthday has come and gone and I am still struggling. I was not crying when he went to pre-school, or his last day of pre-school, or his first day of kindergarten. But I am crying now. Why now? I have no idea. I guess I didn't realize how fast these 10 years have flown by. He is still suppose to be a little boy. Not necessarily a baby, but my sweet little round faced boy.
Tanner slept with my dad holding him every night for the first 6 weeks of his life...

I am a very blessed mother to have him as an amazing son! I truly do not know what I would have done without him. In a lot of ways, he is my guardian angel. That sounds crazy, but when I had him I was not in a good place. I knew though, that I would be better and we would accomplish a lot in his lifetime and so far we have!!

He is smart and funny and a compassionate son. He loves his sister even, when she is not so nice to him. His imagination is always going. He loves reading and writing books and is a pretty good artist. I am very thankful for him and his kind heart and gentle spirit.

Tanner, I hope you had a wonderful day! You are very special to me and I love you more than you will ever know!!

Moments

2011-04-04T15:44:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had those moments when you realize things are going too fast? Or your kids are really growing up without realizing they are growing up? I have had a few moments here or there and it really hit home when my dad and I were talking about plans.

The first time it hit me was about two years ago when I was buying shoes for Tanner. We had gone to the boys section to try on shoes, only for me to realize he was no longer in boys shoes, but mens. AHHHH!!! Not only did the price shock me, but so did his excitement. He was soooo excited that he was no longer in "boys" shoes. What? You have to stay in boys size shoes til you get to Jr. High, at least. Yea, that didn't happen.

Next shock was last year buying clothes for my sweet baby Ella. She went from toddlers to girls. I was ok with Tanner going from toddlers to boys sizes but not my Ella. She is suppose to be my sweet little baby who never grows up. Well, this weekend, as I was shopping for her some more clothes, my heart sank even more. She is not even in elementary and she is already growing way faster than I want her too. I would go to pick up the smaller sizes and realize they are too short and not big enough.

A few weeks ago this really hit home. HARD!! My dad and I were talking about their house. The kids and I are going to live in their house til dad retires in 10 years. After that, I'm hoping I will find something and they will move back and I will be able to either build(yea right!) or find something that fits us. Anyway, I was thinking that would be great. I'll have money saved, Tanner will be graduated, Ella will be 15 and wait.....Tanner will be graduated? Ella 15? Are you kidding me? NOOOOO!!! I don't want that to happen. Yes. Reality hit me hard that I have had Tanner for 10 years and in another 10 years he will probably be gone. Oh my heart broke. I know it is crazy and I love every minute I have with my kids, but I wasn't ready to come to terms with that just yet.

I guess, I have been thinking a lot about the kids and our future and am not really dealing well right now with them growing up. Don't get me wrong, I love that they are growing up and I want them to grow up to see who and what they become. But I don't know how my parents or anyone does it. Sometimes it breaks my heart, but to see who they are becoming brings me so much joy. Just wish it wasn't going so stinkin fast.

Brighter Day

2011-02-17T10:18:00.005-06:00

I talked in my resolutions post that I would work harded at giving things to God and let him be the ONE who makes the decisions in my life. I write all of this to also help me be more accountable. 2011 started out rocky and the stress grew and grew. I was praying and asking God for help. I didn't know what to do and I certainly didn't have control or I wouldn't have been so stressed out. My stress finally came to a head and I had had all I could physically take and amazing thing happened. Granted, I know it's not how or what I wanted but HE stopped me. I felt like he told me to stop and my body did just that. I started getting sick, I had severe headaches for 4 days in a row. I felt terrible and looked just as bad. I kept willing myself to go because I had two kids to take care of and two jobs to get to. Tuesday, I thought, if I am not better by the morning I am going to the doctor. I can't do these headaches another day and I am wore out. I came to work Tuesday morning and by 11:30 I was home in bed. I have never slept so good in all my life as I did those 3 hours and that night. Wednesday I woke up feeling better, not great, but better. By the end of Wednesday I felt like me again. Still had a weak headache, but I could function again.

Today, my headache is gone, my stress is gone and I know what HE was doing. He was making me stop and forget everything else. I asked for his guidance and help with what I was dealing with. He got my attention and today I begin a brighter day working to be a better me because it's what I need to be with God's help. I need to not worry about all the things I was worrying about, and struggling with. There is a bigger picture, I haven't seen any of it yet, but I know it's there waiting. Sometimes what we ask for and what we get are not what HE has in mind for us. I'm still a work in progress and trying very hard every day.

February???

2011-02-07T10:53:00.003-06:00

February? Already? Where did January go? I feel like just last week was New Year's. Grateful it's not, but I feel time has really gotten away from me this month.

January has been a crazy hectic month. First, I'm running around getting estimates for my car, hoping to get it in the shop by the end of the month so I can have my car fixed and back to me feeling safe in it. Well, we are now in the month of February and I am still jacking with the insurance company~fun!! Just so much freaking fun!!

Mom and dad found a place!! Hallelujah!! It's nothing big or fancy, but will work til dad retires!! So, we are working on a slight remodel at the new place, boxing stuff up, unpacking stuff, moving boxes to and from storage. It would be sooooo much easier if they were able to move everything! But they aren't and some will stay and some will go. Good news, at least it's only 30 miles if they need anything!!

Weather! We have had some freezing weather and with it freezing water lines!! At least on the hot side. We have cold running water, but who wants to take a freezing cold bath in freezing cold temps. Got that problem fixed(Hopefully!! Fingers crossed) this weekend. We moved the water heater and pray that this next round of bad weather we get, we will have hot water!!

Kids have been busy too. Went back to school and are heading into the end with smiles abound. Have had plenty to do with homework and programs. I was upset because I missed Tanner's Texas History Program, but heard they all did an awesome job!! I'm staying busy with both jobs and doing what I can to help my parents.

Hope this month doesn't go by as fast as last month did!! Everyone stay warm, spring is just around the corner!!

Resolutions?

2011-01-05T09:13:00.004-06:00

Happy New Year everyone!!

Tanner got a phone for Christmas this year and loves it. He has been using it to talk to his dad by text and to me as well. He has been taking pictures with it and I have enjoyed watching him use it. The other night as we were winding down I got a text on my phone. It was from Tanner and he was sitting in the same room?! He asked me what my New Year's Resoultion was this year. I told him I didn't have one and asked him if I needed one. He thought for a moment and said he didn't know. I asked Tanner if he had one. He said he didn't. I asked him why he was texting me instead of asking me while I was sitting next to him. He said "Mom, sometimes I want to have a conversation without Ella being involved." I understood and left it at that. Later that night, as it is every night, I was laying in bed with Tanner talking to him about what or if we needed to make resolutions. I told him that if he felt he needed to make some resolutions he could.

Tanner did get me to thinking though. What would I change about this year from last year? I have been working on being a better mom and taking care of myself so I can be a better mom for my kids. I am working very hard on providing for my kids. I have been working on the kids and I going to church. I don't like the idea of not always being able to go with them on the Sunday's I work, but we are getting back to where we need to be. Then I remembered what someone who is very wise told me. He said "It's not what man thinks of us, but what GOD has in store for us." So, instead of making a resolution, I'm making a change, to work on letting GOD lead me/us in what we need to do. This is not something new or something I wasn't taught. It is something that I quit doing and became lost along the way. I have been talking to Him every day asking him for guidance and thanking him for the many blessings he has blessed me with. Especially Saturday!! I am so very grateful for so many things that happened or didn't happen on Friday. Every day is new.

My change isn't to diet and exercise, which I know I should so I can be healthier. It is life changing though. It is something that the kids need to see and be a part of.

Many blessings to you and your family on this new year!!

Polka Dots

2010-11-10T18:06:00.005-06:00

I feel like I am seeing spots!! With all the changes going on right now, I decided that part of the changes that we were going to make would be the kids decision. I asked them if they wanted their rooms painted. Of course they did!! I asked them what colors. Ella informed me her room would be pink and purple. Tanner said he would be happy with one blue wall. I'm thinking an entire room bright pink and purple, there has to be an alternative. One blue wall I can live with, but bright pink and purple? She concedes and says one wall pink and one purple. Ok, options are getting better, but how do I make it work? Then an idea hits me, how about stripes or polka dots? Polka dots it is!!

Last weekend I started on painting and scraping ceilings. I knew the kids would be gone that weekend and thought I could have it done by the time they got home Sunday. Friday night I moved out furniture, scraped ceilings. Saturday after work I painted everything white, trim, door frames, walls and ceilings. Perfect, paint polka dots on Sunday and the room back together by the time the kids get home.

Well, the kids came home early on Sunday and I was not finished like I had hoped, but they got to help me paint. Ella actually helped me draw the dots on the wall and then we began painting. I outlined one dot and turned my back to outline one for Tanner. I got halfway through and Ella had taken it upon herself to finish painting the one I had outlined.

I left her dot that she painted by herself there. As a reminder of her helping me!!

Tanner painted about 4 dots and was through. Ella had to help me paint all the dots on the lower half of the walls. 4 hours after we started painting, we finally finished dots. I was very thankful that I didn't draw as many as Ella wanted. By 8 Sunday night, we had a new room with pink and purple polka dots.

Next task, blue and green striped walls in Tanner's room!!

A Season of Change

2010-10-04T13:20:00.003-05:00

This fall is bringing not only a change of seasons, but also of other changes in our life. We were fortunate enough to celebrate my mama's 90th birthday a few weeks ago. We were all able to be there and all had a wonderful time celebrating. It's amazing that she is still living in her own house by herself. I hope that I will be as strong as she is when I grow up!!

Then we started flag football. I love to watch the kids play. Tanner has enjoyed it more this year than in the years past. He loves blocking!! I'm hoping one day he will not feel bad about hitting or blocking another player :/ Ella loves to watch too. She wants to be a cheerleader one day so she can cheer for him!!

My dad did get on with AEP and is now going to be moving!! This is something that I knew was coming and is mixed with bitter sweetness (is that a word?). I am so excited and happy for my dad and mom but at the same time sad for the kids and them that they won't be here like they have been for the past 9 years. Wow! 9 years. That doesn't seem possible. Tanner has had a few worries, but are hopefully eased now that he realizes they will only be 30 miles from here.

More changes abound as I started a second job!! Yay! I was so excited when I got this that I feel like a weight has been lifted. It is only going to be a few nights a week and a weekend here and there and is a really awesome opportunity for me.

More changes are on the horizon, but mostly we are adjusting to new things. Taking care of the right now and TRYING not to worry about the future. However, I am excited about what the future holds for us!! It is going to be AMAZING!!

End of a crazy two weeks

2010-09-04T11:59:00.005-05:00

This weekend marks the end of a crazy two weeks. School started for Tanner on the 23rd. I had to be in Panhandle for court that day. Then I had court and treatment placement to get done by the end of the week. All of that mixed in with back to school night for Tanner and Ella on the same night, getting back in to the routine of homework, supper, and bed times made for a tiring first week.

This past Monday was Ella's first day of Ms. Angie's. Oh how we have missed her, but sure do not like the attitude in the afternoons. That tied with allergies kicking Ella's tail have not made for a fun week.

So, how do we end a crazy two weeks? By having a little fun ourselves!

We hope everyone has a great school year! It may get a little crazy for the kids and I, but we will have fun doing it!!

Vacation 2010!!

2010-08-02T10:32:00.009-05:00

WE HAD A BLAST!!!

We started off our trip to Castaway Cove before driving on to Burleson. We had a super time. Tanner loved the wave pool and Ella loved the lazy river!! A girl after my own heart ;) We would have stayed in the lazy river all day had it not started raining. It rained a little bit and then moved on and we got to play some more. We went down some slides and played in the water and floated the lazy river some more. We left and headed out to Burleson, but not before stopping at The Olive Garden to eat!!

The next day was the Fort Worth Zoo. This was Ella's favorite place. She got tired of walking and decided that she would ride the rest of the way in the stroller. We got to spend a lot of time walking around and looking at all kinds of animals. Ella made sure cheetahs were the last thing we saw and Tanner made sure the reptile house was the first.

After that we went to the American Airlines museum. It was really neat to see. I didn't realize passenger planes were around as early as they were. The kids got to fly a simulator model which Tanner liked and Ella could have done without.
She saw the big plane and wanted to get on it. Now Ella wants to get on a plane and ride it somewhere!! Tanner, not so much (he's not a fan of heights).

Our third day was to the Dallas Aquarium. The kids got to feed some of the birds berries and see lots of big fish. Ella liked the manatee and flamingos. Tanner saw a guitar shark (?) and thought that was cool. (I'm probably not right about that, and he will correct me I'm sure). Then that afternoon we went and watched Despicable Me in 3D. It was a great movie. Of the last 4 movies I have seen, I have loved the kids movies better! Ella kept trying to reach out and grab the characters in the movie.

The next day was Dinosaur World. Tanner was in heaven and so excited he could hardly contain himself. We walked through the walk and he knew everyone of the dinosaurs on the path and what they were all about.

Ella was "leading" the way. She was having more fun showing us which way to go than looking at the dinosaurs. At the end of the walk we got to do a fossil dig. Ella calls them her shiny things that she got. Tanner had such a hard time deciding what to keep and what to put back. He wanted to keep all of his fossils, but finally decided on which ones to keep. We then headed to my sister's house and spent the rest of the weekend relaxing and swimming!!

On our way home I asked the kids what was their favorite part of the trip. Ella said the zoo. She said she would have liked the water park more if the big waves wouldn't have crashed in her face. She said she liked the little waves, but not the big ones. Tanner's favorite was Dinosaur World. Said that the next would have been the water park because of the wave pool. I on the other hand felt like the little girl in Despicable Me when she finally gets her big unicorn and says "IT'S SO FLUFFY!" about my new car!! I LOVE IT!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

The one wish I have after all of this: to have my vacation kids back instead of my home kids. They were so good while we were gone and once we got back home, it's fighting, arguing and yelling to get out of the others room!?! So much fun though!!

Happy Birthday ELLA!!

2010-07-20T14:18:00.004-05:00

My little girl turns 4 today!! My goodness how time has flown and what an experience and ride she has taken us on!!

My little girl has an opinion and mind of her own. I am not complaining because I love it and hope she continues to not be afraid of what she thinks and expressing her opinions. She is very vocal about what she wants and cries when she doesn't get her way. She can go from being extremely happy or excited to mad and feelings hurt in the drop of a hat. There are times when I am not used to her roller coaster of emotions and sit at a loss of what to do and worry that one day I REALLY won't know how to handle it all. She has a very sweet and loving side. She is a caretaker like her brother, but really doesn't want anyone to know. I love to listen to her sit and play with her dolls and tell them that she will love them and take care of them til the day she dies! She can also play with dinosaurs and dragons with her brother. However, she likes to be the princess in distress and have a prince come and resuce her from the mean dragons!!
She loves playing dress-up and changing clothes a 100 times a day! (if I would let her!) Ella loves putting on make-up, wearing jewelry, carrying purses and wearing hats and sunglasses when we go out.

She has been a blessing just like her brother. We wouldn't trade her and her sassy, frassiness for all the world! I love you Ella, Happy Birthday!!!

Busy Week

2010-07-19T09:20:00.004-05:00

What a whirlwind of a week last week!! The kids,my mom and myself made an impromptu trip to the metroplex. I had found a few vehicles online in searching and went to go check them out. Came home with a new car for me! I'm excited and the kids were too. Actually I think they were more excited about the road trip than anything. We left Wednesday night and got 15 miles down the road when I heard, "I'm hungry, when are we stopping to eat?" Are you kidding me? We just left? I make it to Quanah and realized I didn't pack my pajamas! What? What in the world was I thinking? I got the kids, but not mine?! Ok, so it's obvious we are stopping to eat and find me some pj's. We stop at Braum's to eat and I let the kids drink chocolate milk shakes instead of cokes and then a scoop of ice cream comes with the combo meals, so the kids then each had ice cream. I didn't think that much about it til we are in Bowie and they have not calmed down yet! We finally made it to my aunt and uncle's in Irving and put 2 kids to bed. Up early the next morning to go look at cars! The kids loved test driving all the different cars, Ella would say "Look mom, my seat will fit in the back!" We took a break and went to eat at Cheddars when my son decides to try something. For what ever reason he decided to sip some tea through a straw put his finger on the end of it and then shoot the tea in the air thinking it would come down in his glass. Uh no, it landed on top of my head and the rest in my lap. I don't know who had a more shocked look on their face, Tanner or I. Tanner immediately starts apologizing and saying "Mom, I'm so sorry, I didn't know it would do that. I didn't mean to mom." Needless to say, his experiment didn't work and why he decided to try it in a restaurant of all places I don't know. I sopped up with tea and told him that the next time he gets an idea, to try it at home first. We continued shopping that day and the kids were awesome! They didn't fuss and fight and by the time it was over we were exhausted. We head back to Irving and I go back to the dealership the next morning by myself to pick up our new car. Finally get the vehicle picked up and head home, but not without incident. We get about 15 minutes from Bowie and the low tire pressure light comes on. Are you kidding me? Pull over and thank goodness we pulled over where we did because there was a Motorcycle machine shop on the side of the road. The guy comes out and says that we can try to put air in and see if it will stay up til I can get to the tire shop in Bowie. The tire wouldn't hold air so we had to change the tire. This nice man helped us get the tire changed. The crazy part, he knew some people from Childress. Anyway, we got the tire changed and the bad one loaded. He wouldn't accept any money from us and said that he was just doing what someone has done for him, just to do something nice for someone else. We stopped in Wichita to eat before coming on home. Made it home and started the weekend.

Saturday was busy but fun. I got up early and took my bad tire to get fixed and got breakfast for the kids. Made it back home to get the kids ready for the parade and lots of candy!! The rest of the day was spent doing what I should have been at home doing instead of car shopping! The kids got to play with some cousins and had fun doing that!

Sunday, we went to what I consider my home church. I know that sounds kind of crazy and weird. We went to Shamrock for church. They were celebrating 100 years. We went back and it felt like home. It's the first church I really remember going to and have always felt at home. The singing was beautiful and we got to hear the preacher that was there when we were. I wish I would have listened more or paid better attention to his sermons when I was smaller. He is a wonderful speaker and would love to hear him again. They even had some pictures up and I enjoyed looking at them. It was funny to go back because everyone recognized my parents and when they looked at Ella they knew who I was. They said that she looked like me when I was her age. So many people had changed and yet others hadn't. It felt really good to see everyone and to be there. I really need to go back more often. We even showed the kids where we lived and the school I went to and the hours that were spent at the softball field my dad help build and play on. It was a fun walk down memory lane with lots and lots of great memories!

So now, this week, I am getting everything together for our vacation next week!! The kids are counting the days down and we are super excited!! Water park, zoo, dinosaurs, aquariums, airplanes, etc, we are ready!!

Happy 4th!!

2010-07-06T13:39:00.006-05:00

Hope all had a Happy 4th of July. The kids had a great time popping fireworks in between the showers of rain we had. There hasn't been much exciting or new going on with us. We are enjoying summer, saying prayers for future events to work out as planned and gearing up for a little time away.

The kids have enjoyed going to the library this summer. Tanner of course, is checking out every dinosaur and dragon book available. They each get three and he has yet to come home with the same dinosaur or dragon book. Ella, who knows what her fancy will be when we get there. She does love Dr. Seuss and winds up finding some we haven't read before.

Tanner is also trying to teach his sister science. I'm having a hard enough time trying to teach her numbers and letters, but who knows, maybe he can!! At least he is teaching her how to make things like volcanoes erupt and I really don't want to know what else!! I guess I will be finding more science stuff for Christmas!!

This weekend we were able to pop some fireworks at my grandmother's. She got such a big enjoyment out of watching the kids light their fireworks and run for cover. Ella isn't a big fan of ground blasters, but loves the spinning crystals. She is getting a little bit braver when it comes to them. I'm hoping I'm not turning her into a pyro!! Tanner just loves to light anything up. Give him a punk and something to light and he is happy. Wait, I think I may be worrying about the wrong one?!

The funniest so far has been the two of them fighting. Which gets old after a while. The other day, they eventually got mad at each other and put signs outside their bedroom doors. Instead of hanging them this is what I found...

Vacation is just a few short weeks away. I can't wait!! The kids are excited and Ella is already packing. She's my planner. She already has her snacks in the bag, her water and capri suns packed. She has a backpack full of toys and if I would let her, her clothes already in her suitcase! Tanner will wait til the last minute and wind up being upset that something was left behind.

We hope everyone is having a great summer!!

Catch Up!

2010-06-17T16:12:00.012-05:00

I can't believe the last time I posted anything was Tanner's birthday!! But so many things have happened and we have been so busy. I'm really glad summer is here and really wish I was at home with the kids playing in the pool.

April was a pretty quick month. We had Easter weekend, then Tanner's birthday the next weekend. Recoup from the previous two weekends the next weekend and then start gearing up for end of the year stuff.

May was even more hectic. We lost an AMAZING lady!! Granny Irene always had a smile on her face and never a complaint. She has an amazing family of which I'm so blessed to be a part of. Tanner got to hear some stories about his Poppa and Great Uncles that had him rolling in the floor. He loved hearing the story of Granny riding on the back of Buck's motorcycle and falling off, how Terry had hit a baseball through the neighbors window and didn't know it, Debbie saying that they could play in a neighbors yard because he wasn't home and the neighbor coming out noting otherwise! Oh, the stories could go on and on and it's all because of Granny and Grandad. Their legacy lives on and they are both missed greatly.

May was also Mother's Day Tea, which I didn't get to be a part of, but someone just as wonderful to Ella was able to be there and she was so proud that her Nesey was able to be there for her! I am too. Then we had end of the year party and graduation for Ms. Angie's. And let me tell you, she does an amazing job with those kids!! I was laughing at Tanner because he was singing along with the little kids at Ms. Angie's graduation, he didn't remember the songs at first, but they quickly came back and he was singing right along. That same week we had Tanner's playday at the football field and baseball field!! Then school is out! It seems like May didn't even happen!!

Now here we are in June and all is going well so far. The kids are swimming and slip 'n slidin' and I'm planning a trip for the kids and hopefully, we will get to go and have a good time!! Tanner is wanting us three, my parents and my sister and her family to all go on vacation like we did when Tanner was little. He said he had a good time and would like to do that again. So my sister and I are working on details of that. I'm excited about it, because we will be getting out of town!!

Ella didn't like the idea of running and sliding on the slip 'n slide, so she would lay down and wait for someone to push her down it!! I loved watching them do that!!

That was quick, but in a nutshell!!

Birthday Weekend

2010-04-12T09:26:00.006-05:00

We had an awesome weekend!! We got to celebrate Tanner's birthday on Sunday and had cookie cake, candles, drinks, and several boys having a great time. It seems so surreal at times that he is 9 years old. I remember him being born and not knowing what to name him. (I know, I'm a terrible mom!) The thing is when he was born, I had no idea if he was going to be a boy or a girl. So, I had no boy names picked out. Finally, after many suggestions, he was named Tanner. He was my surprise and continues to surprise me to this day.

Tanner is a protector, a friend, a son and amazing! To this day, he is very over-protective of his sister. He panics when she cries, and worries when she is hurt. Even though they act like brother and sister, anytime something happens to her, he is the first there. He has many friends and loves to be around them all. It is so neat to watch the way he interacts with everyone, because it is different with each of his friends.

God gave me the best gift he could have ever given me, not only Tanner, but Ella as well. They have made me laugh when I didn't know if it was possible. To live life full each day with them.

This is one of the many pictures we take before we can get a good one...

and finally a good one...

I Love....

2010-03-31T12:56:00.008-05:00

I love my kids!! One right now is not feeling well, but will recover soon! I love the fact that I never know what will come out of their mouths, especially Ella! She speaks her mind regularly.

I love my family and friends!! I have some of the best family and friends anyone could ask for. I don't always get to spend enough time with them, but I do cherish every minute that I get with them. Just recently I was reminded how precious life is and to not take anyone for granted.

I love Spring!! I am so excited that it is spring time and that everything is turning green, and is full of life and color. I love the cool nights and the warm days. I love the spring showers too.

I love Easter Egg Hunts!! We went to Ms Angie's this morning for Ella's Easter party and I love watching the kids look for their eggs!

I love the sunshine!! Today is such a beautiful day and so nice and warm. I love to see the sunshine and feels it warmth.

I love vanilla Dr. Pepper's from Dairy Queen!! They put a little extra vanilla in mine :)

I love wearing my flip flops!! I have missed them so much. I am not a big fan of shoes and as soon as I come home, my shoes come off. I guess that is where Ella gets taking her shoes off as soon as she comes in!

and last and the best....

I love the life God has allowed me to have!! I have been blessed to have everything I need. He has allowed me to have two amazing kids, amazing parents, amazing friends and I could not ask for more!! I am working on being who he wants me to be everyday. I have had a few struggles lately, but he has given me great peace!! I love it!!

That's the Way We Roll

2010-03-17T09:04:00.005-05:00

I must say that the kids have been acting crazy lately, but I think, it's because Spring is approaching and the weather is warmer and they are tired of being inside all the time.

I was running out of ideas for things for them to do. One night after I folded laundry and got it put up, Tanner was sitting in the laundry basket rocking back and forth. For some reason, I told Ella to get in the other basket and start doing the same thing. I then lined them up on one side of the living room and told them to rock back and forth to make the basket move to the other side of the room. Mr. Competitive, aka Tanner, couldn't stand that his sister was beating him, so he decides to use his hands to help scoot him across the floor. I pulled him back and told him that he had to rock. Needless to say, he was sweating in about 2 minutes from working so hard to catch back up to his sister. Ella was laughing at him telling him "I win, I win, You lost, You lost." Can you tell my children are competitive? Then Ella got tired and decided that she was going to climb in behind her brother and make him rock both of them across the floor. He starts trying and then I hear, "Jeez Tanner, your heavy." Needless to say, Ella bailed on him and decided her little basket was plenty big and she would rather do it herself then let her brother squish her!

They had a blast and asked the other day if their baskets would scoot across the grass. I told them I didn't know but we could see when it warms up. So if you see us with laundry baskets out we are just racing in them!

Many thanks

2010-03-09T08:35:00.004-06:00

Wow! I just sat down and evaluated everything that has transpired since I have been back from my trip. It's amazing how as you are going through it all that it doesn't seem near as big until you look back and it hits you like a ton of bricks. So much has happened and so many prayers have been said. I do want to say Thank you to those who have prayed, your prayers are tremendously appreciated.

Last week, one of my cousins, went missing. He lives in the DFW area and was missing for 2 1/2 days and was found on Wednesday. He was unconscious. He was brought to our local hospital where he was flown out to UMC in Lubbock. He is still in ICU and is still holding his own. We have no idea what happened to him. Doctors say they think he had a heart attack, but they don't know for sure. Our family has talked to the Sheriff who found him, have talked to doctors, to try to find out what happened. There are a lot of unanswered questions that will remain that way until he can answer them, if and when he does. He has a wife and two daughters who are 20 and 17. Family members who are still in Lubbock, say he is improving. I hope and pray that he is and we all know he will have a very long road to recovery.

Renewed

2010-03-01T08:53:00.003-06:00

This past week, I went on a mini vacation. I was in need of one, but didn't realize til I was gone, just how much I not only wanted it, but needed it. It was a great time relaxing and spending some time with my sister. I was able to spend some time with her a reconnect with her in a way that we haven't had a chance to. It was great. We ate, and laughed, and ate, and laughed and shopped and laughed some more. I can't tell you how much I have needed that with her. I didn't realize til I left just how much I had missed her. In our daily lives, we get drawn into the daily tasks that we think we have to get done, and sometimes forget to tells those who mean the most to us, how much we appreciate them, how much we love them or even a simple hello. I had an amazing time just being able to spend time with her.

Then I came home and was wore out from doing really nothing, except driving. I got home late and couldn't get wound down from the drive, so I didn't make it to bed til 4am Saturday morning. But, I did make up for not sleeping and slept til almost noon. I haven't done that in I can't tell you when. I felt better and happier than I have in a while. I started putting stuff up, cleaning and getting laundry done. I'm no where close to being finished putting stuff up and going through stuff, but I started and that is a big accomplishment for me.

Sunday started and ended on the same note. Which for me is unusual. Lately, I have being going to church and renewing my relationship with God. I do have to say, that I didn't know if I was ready when I started, but I must say, the journey til now has helped me the way I always knew it should, but didn't want to face it. I felt guilty for a while for not going, then when I did go (sporadically) I felt as if I were there for the wrong reason, now when I go, it's because I want to be there and can't wait to hear the lesson this Sunday. And every lesson is what I need to hear at that given time, like what I have struggled with that week, or have struggled with in the past or that has bothered me and it's like this is what I need to hear right now. Last night, Tanner couldn't go to sleep. He asked if he could talk to me and I told him anytime he wanted to. I couldn't tell if he had been crying or not and I asked him what was wrong. He and I started talking about baptism and salvation. I must say I was surprised and told him that we would start studying together and reading the Bible. He said he wanted to do that and be ready for when Jesus returned. I told him we would be. I didn't know quite what to do or say, but felt we both need to start studying the Bible more. This morning after I got Tanner up to start getting ready, he gave me a hug and told me thanks for understanding and listening to him.

So today I stand renewed and refreshed and ready to go again. Last week and this weekend have been exactly what I have needed to start again.

Struggles

2010-02-22T17:05:00.002-06:00

I'm headed out on Wednesday for a mini-vacation. I'm so excited and ready. Today, as I am preparing things at my office and going through things, I find myself struggling with the issue of addiction. It is this crazy disease. And I don't even know that I would even classify it as a disease. Over the past 8+ years I have learned A LOT about addiction and yet there are times I still don't know nor understand what is going on. It's easy to point out the alcoholic, the meth head, the crack head. But what is not so easy is pointing out the alcoholic who seems to be a social drinker, or the person addicted to adderall, or hydrocodone or muscle relaxers. I find it so amazing that any of these people I mentioned whether it's the meth addict or the hydrocodone addict, deny to everyone they have a problem. I have always had a hard time understanding this concept. You see them stoned or high or drunk or stumbling. They can barely take care of themselves let alone anyone else. My weakness with them is the kids. I also don't understand how they think they are hiding it from them. The kids notice the mood swings, notice the highs and lows, and there is nothing they can do to defend themselves from the ones taking care of them. They love them and yet at the same time are scared of them and are always on guard because they do not know which person they will get. This I guess is the part that I struggle with. I see it everyday. I see it everywhere. The only thing I can offer some of these is a chance to breathe new life without addiction. Some I have tried to help. Some think there is still nothing wrong. Some thinking they are hiding it from others and in reality are not. I am hoping that with this little vacation I can come back refreshed and ready to begin another struggle with whoever says they don't have a problem.

Book Ideas

2010-02-18T09:01:00.004-06:00

I need help. I'm trying to keep Tanner engaged in reading. He loves books and has loved them since he was very small. I'm worrying because he is getting burned out on reading books. It is a nightly battle to get him to read let alone for 20 minutes. It is so disheartening that a child who loves books doesn't care anymore. Back at Christmas time I found him a book that is called Kenny and the Dragon. He loved it and has read it so many times. I do know he likes Hank the Cowdog books, but has read just about every one. I plan on going out of town next week and while I'm gone, plan on getting him some books. I have one that I am looking for, but would love other ideas on books that may keep Tanner's interest and not give up on reading. If you have any ideas please let me know!!

An Adventure

2010-01-18T08:50:00.003-06:00

This is Ella's favorite saying when we are going to do something. "Are we going on an Adventure?" To which I always reply, "Of course!"

Our adventure yesterday was to Amarillo. Tanner was in BAD need of some new shoes. The ones I bought at the beginning of school were not only worn out, but too little as well as his church shoes. He also needed some new jeans and Ella of course had to have a new outfit as well. We set off to Amarillo. We get between Hedley and Lelia Lake and Ella loudly announces, "What is THAT smell?" I told her it was the feedlot and she asked if the cows were dead. I told her no and we get past it. We make it to Amarillo and eat at Chili's then head out to Shoe Carnival. We get out there and Ella wants to know again, "What's that smell?" I told her it was a feedlot again and she told me "Then where are the cows?" I tried to explain to her that she couldn't see them, just smell them. She said, "At least these aren't dead." We go into Shoe Carnival and the music is playing and they have mirrors. Tanner and I are looking at different shoes and trying to decide which ones to try on. Every time I turned around, my daughter was dancing and watching herself dance in the mirror. She had more fun just dancing around the store while Tanner was trying shoes on. Tanner was so excited when he found out he was wearing "Mens" shoes. Yes, he is not even 9 and is no longer wearing boys shoes!! :( In fact he was so proud, he had to call his dad and tell him that he could almost wear his shoes!

Next stop, Kohl's for Tanner's Levi's. We get jeans, try them on, they fit we keep them to buy. Ella, who loves mirrors and dancing, was dancing in the dressing room. She wanted to find her an outfit to buy so she could try them on in the dressing room. We find two outfits and we head to the dressing room where she dances in her new outfits watching herself in the mirror.

Last stop before our movie was Target. I cannot go to any big town and NOT visit Target. It's like a sin for me to go and NOT go to Target. I LOVE this store. As we are pulling up, Ella tells Tanner this is the store that has the big red balls out front. Tanner tells Ella that every Target has big red balls. They have to argue over whether every store has big red balls or not. We get out and her first words are "See Tanner, I told you THIS store has big red balls." We go inside and Ella knows where the good stuff is, so we head down those first few aisles. Tanner looks too and finds a little book that is titled "Spanish Conversational Speaking for Dummies" He brings it over to me and asks if he can get it. I laugh and tell him yes. As we are walking through Target, he is repeating the phrases that are in this book. I don't know whether he has retained any of it or not.

Movie time was "The Princess and the Frog." It was a great movie. Ella, Tanner and I laughed thru out this movie. There is a little old lady named Mama Odie, she was by far my favorite, but she reminded me so much of my great grandmother Granny Irene. Mama Odie is so full of life which in part reminds me so much Granny Irene. She is just such a fun lady! Ella watched every bit of this movie and had to call her dad and tell him all about it. I think this is a movie that we are going to have to buy, if not for her, for me!! ;)

Our adventure was complete and we headed home. It was a great day to be with the kids and laugh and have a good time.

A New Year!!

2010-01-06T13:59:00.005-06:00

What a way to start a new year than to be with your family and start it off right!! This past weekend we did just that. My sister, her husband and boys came and then we celebrated another Christmas with my dad's side of the family. All of the kids got to play with their new toys together and we laughed, mostly at my sister, but you know (just kidding). I enjoyed being able to spend time with my sister again and her husband and boys. My kids enjoyed it too. They LOVE playing with their cousins. Then we had the Moore Christmas. When we all get together, we always have so much food that even eating a small spoonful of everything will cause you to explode. One of my uncle's said that we don't do that often enough. I don't know if he meant that we don't get together often enough for the sake of getting together or for the wonderful food we always get to eat when everyone is together!! I'm assuming both!

I have decided also this year that 2010 will be a great year. Keep all of the negativity on the back burner. You don't realize until another year has gone and you get caught up in some things, what an impact it has on you. Seeing and being reminded of death through friends who have gone before me, makes me stop and realize all the bad things and negative things in this world are not worth all the time that we spend dwelling on it. We have one life to live, so why dwell and give Satan the benefit of ruining another day?

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year filled with many blessings, much love and beautiful hope for a better tomorrow.

Best Part of My Day

2009-12-30T10:59:00.003-06:00

The most favorite part of my day....hearing my two favorite people telling me "I love you Mom." This melts my heart every time, especially if I haven't seen them and am talking to them on the phone. I love hearing those words from those two. Makes my day shine a little bit brighter and my step a little bit lighter!! Love you two!!!

Tis the Season

2009-12-21T14:16:00.002-06:00

I love this time of year!! Sitting here typing this, I am getting more and more anxious about Christmas. I'm ready for the kids to open presents and see what they got from Santa!!

However, I was ready to throw it all out the window last night. The kids came home wound up. I'm not meaning wound up, laughing giggling, wound up. I mean wound up wrestlin' moves wound up!! Ella was literally hanging off of her brother's neck. Tanner didn't do much to help keep his sister off though! About every 5 minutes I was telling Tanner to sit down and leave Ella alone or telling Ella to quit screaming at her brother or quit dropping her elbow into him as she was falling on top of him!! This is how I know Christmas is just around the corner, the kids start doing wilder things just to see if Santa is truly watching and just to see how much they can get away with. About the time I finally get them settled down, the tree starts crashing down!! So, as everyone is running to save the tree, the kids start hanging on each other and jumping on top of one another. I'm holding the tree, dad is trying to see where the base is broken and mom is trying to pull all 50 million presents from under the tree so they don't get crushed. Mom had to pull out her Christmas tree and assemble it while I'm holding the broken one. Then one by one we move the ornaments from the broken tree to the not broken tree. Ella realizes that we don't have lights on the not broken tree and has a complete melt down. I told her to get over it and help move ornaments (I know,I'm a terrible mother!!) Anyway, about an hour later, we got everything put back together and the broken tree to the dumpster. The kids finally went to bed around 10, but Ella didn't stay there long! Oh what a night!! I've got to come up with some ideas for the kids over the next two weeks.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! May you find peace, joy and love this holiday season!!!

Talks

2009-12-16T16:30:00.003-06:00

I LOVE MY TALKS WITH TANNER!! I cannot say that enough. I have been meaning to post this and haven't had a chance. It seems like there has been a lot going on and I haven't had time, but I am making time to put this down.

A couple of nights ago, maybe Sunday night, I was folding clothes and Tanner was laying on the bed while I was folding. He looks up to me and says "Mom, will you let me do my deal that I talked about earlier this summer?" My mind starts racing and this is where I'm thinking what did I say he could do? Oh no, what is it? Think fast, he's waiting for an answer. I say "What deal exactly are your talking about?" He says, you know my food stand. We are going to split the money at the end of the day three ways. I asked him where he was planning on putting his food stand? He said "Outside, of course!" I'm thinking no doubt outside but exactly where outside? He then clarifies and says that he wants to put it on that empty parking lot behind my parents house. He says that night time would be a good time to do his dine out stand, since it is too hot during the day! He says it is a good way for him to make money and save it for his trip to Disney World. I agree and tell him we will have to talk more about it. He wants to advertise and start small and as he gets bigger add more things. He said he needed a loan to get started and maybe talk to the editor of the newspaper to find out about advertising prices ;) So if you see advertisement for a DINE OUT cafe, it's probably Tanner and his friends.

Quick Funny

2009-12-03T10:02:00.003-06:00

I had to post this about the kids, it is a quick funny story about a brother and his little sister.

Last night, Tanner was trying hard to concentrate on writing a story for his ready writing practice. Ella, who LOVES to pester her brother, was running off at the mouth. He would ask her to hush so he could concentrate. I would take Ella out of the room to read a book and she would "go put the book up" via telling her brother what he needed to write and I would have to go retrieve her so she would leave Tanner alone. Finally Tanner put his pencil down and started talking and playing with her. Ella went and got two of her many play cell phones so her and Tanner could talk on them. Tanner with his quick wit, flipped one of the cell phones open and says "Hello Santa. Yes, this is Tanner. Oh yes Santa you know I have been good, but my sister..." Ella immediately tries to take the phone from him and tells him to close it so he can't tell Santa that his sister has been pestering him. I was laughing so hard, because she was so quick to tell her brother to close that phone and give it to her. Tanner started laughing and told her that if she wasn't nice Santa wouldn't come see her. Ella's reply "I'm always nice to Santa."

Kudos

2009-11-10T23:00:00.003-06:00

Ok, I have to brag on 5 amazing kids!! They did an amazing job tonight and it's wonderful to see what these kids are doing!

Let me back up some. Tonight, 5 kids from Mrs. Long's third grade class did a computer project about planets and were able to do a presentation for the school board tonight. There were four boys and a girl who were all very nervous but very well prepared to demonstrate their power point presentation about planets. The kids were given resources to find out 9 facts about their planet. Each one of the kids knew more about their planet than I could have ever known in my lifetime. I was amazed at the information they had and impressed with how they presented the information. I feel that my kids are very lucky to be in a school system where the administration is willing to help our kids. Our educators are willing to help our kids. And our kids are willing, ready and able to take on new tasks with a little guidance. My hat is off to you all who are preparing my kids with as much knowledge, guidance and support to be the best they can be.

(By the way~don't tell Tanner I was bragging tonight....he gets embarrased and told me earlier they were just doing their project and having fun.)

Best Conversation

2009-11-05T10:34:00.005-06:00

Last night after the kids and I said our prayers, well actually Tanner and I (Ella likes to pretend she can't!), we laid in bed and talked for a minute. I love laying in bed talking to the kids. You never know what really to expect from Ella and with Tanner, it is usually what ever is on his mind. For us, this is the best time to talk.
Tanner is ever so thoughtful and wants to know what to get everyone for Christmas. We have had this conversation before and he wants to buy something for everyone. Then he asks when my birthday is and what I want for my birthday. I tell him I just want him and his sister to make me a card and that is all I need. He says, "Oh come on mom, everyone wants to get a present for their birthday to unwrap." I told him that I unwrap the best present every morning when I wake him and his sister up to get ready for the day. He is very adamant that he and his sister get me something. I told him we would worry about that another day. Today is not that day. Then we start talking about how he has been good all year and Ella decides to chime in. She has finally figured it out that when she is good all year, Santa will come see her. He says that he has ideas for everyone that he has on his list. I said on your list? He said yea. Tanner started telling me what he is going to get for his dad, his sister, his friends, his teacher, his grandparents, his cousins, and even the cat!! He said, "You know mom, I really like giving gifts to people to see how happy they are!" Ella then told me she had a list and it sounded like everyone on her list was going to get some lick stick for Christmas!! Tanner also said that one day he will cook the meal at Christmas when his restaurant is big enough to hold everyone!! I'm wondering how big his restaurant will be and how many people he is inviting? Knowing him, he will feed the whole town and never bat an eye!!

Busy

2009-10-12T09:25:00.004-05:00

It seems like last week flew by. The kids have been busy. Tanner loves playing flag football, loves being the center, and is trying so hard to be the best he can! He is not only playing flag football, but has started practicing for UIL. He is hoping for two more first place wins like last year. Tanner made the story telling team and creative writing team. He has a great imagination and has such a great memory, I think he will do well.

Ella had a pretty busy week too. She was super excited to be able to ride the firetruck!! Well, that is until Fire Pup showed up. They were all sitting around and listening to the fire fighters tell them what to do and watching Ms. Angie demonstrate what to do. Then it was time to go get on the firetruck. Ella came running to me and would not let me put her down. She was not getting on that truck without me. That is ok and I gladly rode with her while she had a death grip on me.

Yesterday, we rested and carved pumpkins. I cut the top off of Ella's and gave her a spoon to dig the guts out. Yea, she stuck the spoon in and said "Mom I'm trying so hard, they just aren't coming out." I got Tanner's top off and was showing Ella what to do. She tries one time and says "It's disgusting" That was the last I saw of her until the pumpkins were finished. She decided gut digging was not fun! I remember it being fun, but what do I know. Tanner dug most of his guts out. He flung pumpkin seeds all over the kitchen and last night, I was still finding seeds!! This morning, Ella decided she wanted to carve the little pumpkins and she would dig the guts out!! Oh sweet girl!

The Many Hats of....

2009-09-29T09:18:00.003-05:00

Tanner!! He has now taken up a new interest. Tanner says that he is going to still keep his restaurant stand but he is going to take on a new venture as well. He is going to write a book and illustrate it and then get me to make copies for his book and sell it at his restaurant stand!!!

This all came about yesterday after school after he finished his homework. He made a book a few years ago about dinosaurs and now since he is older and wiser (his words) he is going to write a better book about dragons. He has started his research and is now beginning his writings. He drew the cover for his book at mom's after he finished his homework and when we got home, he started his writing. He finished page one and page two. Today he will start on page three and four. He told me that he can write a book better than others because he knows so much about dragons. Tanner likes doing so many things. He loves to cook, loves to draw and loves to write. His imagination is incredible. I hope that we give him enough encouragment to do what he wants to do. He still hasn't ruled out being an archeologist yet either!! Who knows what he will be, but I know he will be the best at what he does!!

Breaking Out the Padlocks and Deadbolts

2009-09-25T09:42:00.002-05:00

Ugh! What is a mother to do? I think I am about to go insane. My wonderful, lovely, beautiful daughter, has decided that when we get home in the afternoon that she must change clothes. Not only just the clothes, but panties too! (I guess though you never know when an emergency is going to happen and it is always best to have on clean undergarments?!) She not only changes clothes once, but three or four times, before bath time and then sometimes after she gets her jammies on, she will even change those!! She thinks it is so much fun to change clothes and put them on by herself. She loves being independent, but my laundry piles have doubled in size just because I don't know what is clean and what is dirty!! I don't know if she had that mismatched outfit on for two seconds or two hours and how many times she has been in and out of the house with that outfit on. I caught her just a few days ago, after she had put on another outfit, admiring herself in the mirror. She has a full length mirror in her room and is already making sure she looks good!! Oh boy am I in trouble!!

Ella is bright and very smart. She has figured out how to reach things that I have purposely placed out of her reach. I have all of her clothes hanging in her closet. Since she has decided to change clothes so often, she figured out that she can turn the laundry basket upside down and stand on top of it to reach whatever outfit she so desires. I am seriously considering putting all of her clothes in my closet just so she can't find them!! It's either do that, or put a deadbolt or padlock on her closet and chest of drawers!! So, if you see us out and she is mismatched or a shirt on wrong side out or pants on backwards, know that I lost that battle on what I originally put on her!!

My Soon to Be Chef

2009-08-27T20:16:00.003-05:00

After work today I went to pick up Tanner from my mom's house. As we were leaving he was telling me about his plan that he and two of his friends have come up with. Interesting and intriguing to say the least. As we were talking about it, I realized the three of them have thought it out well. I laughed to myself in amazement at the details that the three of these third graders have come up with. Tanner, Caleb, and Grayson have come up with a great idea to open a restaurant. Instead of a big restaurant, it will be a small stand until they can afford to buy some tables and chairs. As they make more money they will get a bigger place. There will be themed meals and if serving at night they will have flashlights instead of candles. They will take turns taking money, being the chef and the idea maker. They have decided that the first time they serve food it will be a rainforest theme. They will start off with a simple menu at first and then add more specialized foods. They will serve mashed potato sandwiches, potato salad sandwiches, tuna salad sandwiches. Their prices are going to be $3.59 per meal. Extras will be $.10, extras include cutting the crust off the bread, extra cheese, extra mayonaise, or extra potatoes. He asked if one night for his themed dinner if he could borrow my bread recipe. I told him he could. He knows what ingredients go in the spread for the bread and does a fabulous job making it himself. He knows I don't measure any of it and what it tastes like and can make it just like mine. Tanner said that in a few years, he figures they will have a franchise.
As I am sitting here typing this, I still sit in amazement as to what these three boys have thought up. They have an idea, a plan and the steps to take to get to where they want to be. I am also sitting in amazement as to why three boys at the age of 8 are planning on opening up a restaurant.

Blessings

2009-08-14T22:14:00.004-05:00

Today I was reminded more than once how truly blessed I am. I am blessed with my two wonderful kids. I am blessed that I have a roof over my head. I am blessed by the food that is in my pantry. I am blessed with two wonderful, loving parents. I am loved beyond belief. Today, I thanked God for all of this and more. Because I realized today that some people don't have what I have been given. Even people whom I love dearly and whom are in my family.

You see, I have a cousin who is the youngest of three in her family. She is the only girl and was never wanted. I cannot imagine having the feeling and knowing that I was not wanted. The words were never said to me from a young age, but I knew that she was never wanted by the actions of her parents. My parents, have some of the biggest hearts. Every summer I remember my cousin coming and staying the entire summer with us. She would come as soon as school was out and never had clothes. My mom would go buy or make whatever she needed just as she did for my sister and I. When we went on summer vacation, she would go with us. My parents treated her as their daughter.

She has recently gone through some very difficult times. She has lived with her mom for the past two years and has lived out of her suitcase during that time. Her mom has not once moved clothes out of a closet or cleaned out a dresser drawer for her to temporarily put her belongings. Today, she and my mom talked. My cousin has no idea what to do. I talked to her for a while as well. She asked me point blank what she needed to do. To tell her what to do. I told her what my parents have taught me and still teach me. Do what is best for you and the rest will follow. She asked me what would I do in her situation. I told her that I would find some place where I had all the love and support I needed to put my life back together. Some place where I felt safe, some place that I knew would help me heal. She laughed and said, "Where? Home?" She and I both know she meant with my parents. They have been there for her when no one else is or has been. They have been her rock when her parents, her brothers, her uncles and grandparents weren't.

I can only hope to be half as good as my parents are. They have taught me so much about life. They are the best example I have and I hope that one day I will make them proud.

Patience

2009-08-10T15:43:00.005-05:00

When my children are good, they are oh so sweet!! I wouldn't give them up for the world. When my children are bad, I just want to reach over and smack them! Tanner just turned 8 and loves to pick on his sister. Ella just turned 3 and LOVES to do ANYTHING to get her brother in trouble. (She has a halo, but it is ALWAYS tilted!)Since I have Fridays off, the kids and I usually sleep late, get something to eat, just chill until we have to get dressed. This Friday, their Nesey was in town and they were up at 7 ready to go! Get them dressed and out the door to breakfast with Nesey. That afternoon I decided to go to Wal-Mart. Usually Tanner is pretty laid back and Ella, well, she gets put in the basket and tied down, hands and all. If she isn't, I buy things I had no idea I was buying until I check out. For some strange reason, I didn't put her in the basket. Instead, I let her help me push the basket. I had to go to the vacuum cleaner aisle to look for a filter. As I am standing there, Ella decides to ram her brother with the basket. Not once, but twice....the second time trying to chase him down the aisle. The first time I told her to stop in my mother tone, but she laughed and chased him down!! Ok, forget what I was after, the sooner I get out the better and safer my kids will be. On the way to the food aisles, via the toy aisles, Ella forgets about trying to run over Tanner. We are happy and loving on each other again and picking out what all they want for Christmas (I need to win the lottery!!) So I go down the laundry aisle first, guess who didn't forget they got ran over with the basket. Yep, Tanner tried to mow his sister down with the basket! I get on to him and he immediately quits and starts defending himself...."But mom, she ran over me first and then chased me." What do I do now? I put Ella in the basket and Tanner in front of the basket...guess who decides to climb out of the seat and into the back of the basket so she can hit her brother!! UGH!! I was so frustrated that I forgot half of everything on the list. New rule...NO KIDS ARE ALLOWED TO GO TO WAL-MART WITH ME. EVER! At least not together!!

Moments Like These

2009-06-16T13:59:00.004-05:00

It is moments when you least expect it that you catch yourself falling in love with those moments. Last night was no exception. My little angel, who has suddenly started acting like she is so independent and like she is 21 years-old during the day, melts my heart at bed time. Last night she climbed into bed with me and laid her head on my chest like she used to when she was such a tiny baby. As a tiny baby I used to lay there holding her and be able to touch her feet and all of her tiny toes and imagined what she would sound like when she talked, what she would become one day, what she would look like. Last night, I imagined the same thing, even though I could not reach her feet or her toes. She made me melt all over again. After many battles with her throughout the day, these are moments that I cannot and will not take back. She is as stubborn and sassy as the day is long. She is VERY opionated, and I wonder where she gets that? I do know that she will be great at whatever she does, because of her stubborness and her opinions and her sass. I know she will be beautiful to me. She is one of my precious gifts.

Pink Wallets and Dresses

2009-03-05T07:39:00.005-06:00

After work, I went to pick up my sweet little girl. We get home and she is wanting to know where her daddy is. I tell her I don't know, but he would be home soon. Since yesterday was such a warm day, we decided we would wait outside until he gets home. As soon as he pulls around the corner, she asks her daddy to take her for a ride. He convinces her that we need to wait for her brother to get home and then we would go for a drive. Ella is all about going for a ride to see the ducks, the horses, the cats, the dogs, the goats, the donkey. It is amazing what animals we have in town, and my daughter knows where they all live!! Anyway, Tanner gets home and Ryan says, let's go to Wal-Mart. Tanner runs inside to get his wallet. Ella looks at me and asks "Where is my pink wallet?" Hmm, didn't know you were suppose to have one. So, at Wal-Mart we buy her one. She picks out the one she wants. She first picked out one with hearts, then one with cupcakes, then the heart one again only to wind up with a pink camo one. We then go to find Ryan another white shirt and Tanner is itching to spend his money. We go to the video games and he gets a new video game. He is quickly becoming the video gamer. (Scary thought for me!) We leave and head home for the night.

This morning, she woke very early, not to mention for about an hour last night. We were all ready except for Ella. Ryan and I put off getting her dressed for as long as possible. For one, she never wants to take her night dress off and put clothes on. For another, she never wants to wear what we pick out. If it is a dress, sometimes that is ok, but she would rather pick out her own dress. This morning was no different. Ryan goes in to change her clothes and her first words "No daddy, I don't want to take my dress off." He finally convinces her to take it off as he is pulling it off. As we are heading out the door, she has to take her pink wallet with her. In the car on the way over to Nesey and Pop's she asks where her money is and if I would give her some to put in her wallet. I gave her some change out of my car and she thanked me so much for her money. It was so sweet, because she was excited and had money in her wallet ready to take on the day!

Wow!!

2009-02-26T13:44:00.005-06:00

I cannot believe that I made it through yesterday. I knew it was going to be a busy day, but I was completely blown away by what transpired yesterday. If anyone drove by the courthouse here in town, you probably noticed the numerous cars parked around. I have never seen so many people in the courtroom here in Childress. I actually felt like we were in Carson County, where we have 60 or so defendant's every time we go to court. We had a visiting judge, who I think is good, and a lot of old cases were cleaned off the docket. Ones that have not had anything done with in a year or so. Pretty amazing what happens when things get rolling. Anyway, from the time I got to work yesterday until 6pm last night, I don't know that I sat down for more than 20 minutes. People were sent to prison, some were put on probation and some cases were dismissed. But all in all, a very busy day. I do have to say thank you to Stephanie. If you remember back in January, I was not ready to get back in the swing of things and was wanting to be in better shape to go up and down the stairs at the courthouse. Well, if it were not for Stephanie and the treadmill, that I have come to being used to, or those weights, I would not have made it up and down as many times as I did. I may have, but I would have been dead LONG before I was ever finished. Thank you Stephanie for getting me motivated!! I do have to say though, I was sore last night and this morning from climbing the stairs in heels. I don't recommend that often!!

It happened!!

2009-02-22T11:06:00.003-06:00

My day got worse yesterday and then better. We had our new electric water heater installed yesterday and 2 hours later, my bathroom was flooded! Yep! Flooded.
Ryan and I had something we had to go to, and I knew we would not have enough hot water to take a shower by the time I needed to take a shower. Ryan took the kids to his moms and I went to my moms to shower. I get home and I hear water pouring out somewhere. I look to the kitchen sink. The water is not running. I immediately head to the bathroom and as I round the corner I see water coming into the hall way and the noisy is much louder. One of the connections blew loose and needless to say was spraying water all over my bathroom. I call mom and tell her to get dad over to my house now. That water is spraying out of the top of the old hot water heater. I run outside to see if I can find the thing to turn off the water meter. Ryan pulls up at that time and I frantically tell him to help me find the thing to turn off the water meter. He is looking at me like I'm crazy and I tell him that water is spraying all over the bathroom. Keep in mind, we have to be somewhere in less than an hour. Dad comes in and Ryan is outside turning off the meter. Finally we get the water turned off and I start the process of cleaning up the water. All of it. My dad is fixing the connection and I am wiping down the walls in the bathroom.
I guess I could look at it this way. My bathroom is clean and so is my hall!!

Bad Day

2009-02-21T14:21:00.004-06:00

I'm not going to say that today is not going to get any worse. And if it does, I'm going to bed and not emerging until I HAVE to. I guess it started at about 2:15 this morning. I heard the train sirens thinking why in the world are they so loud and what is going on? Well, I soon found out. THE WIND!! As I am lying in bed, I'm thinking, this is good, less roof for me to have to tear off next weekend. Sweet....Then another thought hits....OH MY, the trees! I hope they didn't die from the tornado last year. I hope they don't fall on my roof. I hope they don't fall on my neighbors roof!! Finally go back to sleep somewhere around 3:30ish. I couldn't get the trees off my mind. 6:30 rolls around. My son is up.
Tanner:"Mom what are you doing?"
Me:(barely awake):"Trying to sleep"
Tanner: "Mom, where's dad?"
Me:(wondering why he cares):"In your bed asleep."
Tanner: "Mom, can I watch TV?"
Me:(Becoming annoyed):"I don't care."
Tanner:"Mom, can I watch tv in here?"
Before I get to answer,he runs out of my bedroom to go to the bathroom. On his rush out of my room, he wakes Ella up, who was sleeping in the living room. ( I know, I'm a bad mom. I left her asleep where she fell asleep!) So now, both kids are awake and wanting to watch tv. I tell Tanner, to go turn the tv on in the living room and watch cartoons with his sister, so I can get 10 more minutes. He happily obliged only to have Ella come back into my room 5 minutes later declaring she needs to watch Mickey Mouse. We get up and start getting ready to go to the Bakery, our Saturday morning routine. Ryan went outside to check out the wind damage, and found we had a gas leak in our back yard. So we called the gas company and they said they would send someone over to check it out. So, Ryan had to stay behind to wait for the gas company and the rest of us headed to the bakery. Get to the bakery, enjoy our breakfast and come home. Being the good wife I am, I brought Ryan a cup of coffee back. Still no Gas Guy. He showed up and shut our gas off. Thank goodness a year and a half ago we switched out our gas furnace for an electrical one. Or we would have been without heat today!!
I call the one person I knew to call. He worked with my dad at Villyards. I asked him what to do and he said he would come by and check it out. He did, said that should work and to call them back to have them turn the gas back on. Too easy right? Right. The Gas Guy comes back and says, I can't turn your gas back on because you still have a small leak. A small leak? Are you kidding me? Does he not know I have laundry piled high, floors that need to be mopped and a house that needs to be scrubbed? Ok. Call the Fixer Guy and my dad back. Both agree, it would be cheaper to take out the gas hot water heater and install an electrical one, than it would be to locate the gas line, dig up the yard, replace the gas line, get city permits and inspections, just for gas for a hot water heater. So, new water heater. That means I will not be able to wash clothes, mop the floors, or scrub my house this weekend. We will be going else where to take a shower.
Got that part settled. Things can settle down right? Oh no! Ella starts pitching a fit. She can't find her dad, she can't find her bird, she can't put her birdhouse together! Oh the drama! Finally get her down for a nap. Ok. This is good. Ella wakes up from her nap and wants some juice. Go to the kitchen to get her juice. Pour some in her cup and set the juice back in the fridge. One problem. I didn't get the lid on good, and when I set the bottle down it turned over and nearly a third of the bottle of juice wound up poured into my fridge. Take Ella her juice and go back. I have to pull the veggie drawer out. Clean the glass good and the drawer. Look into the next one. Yep. Had to clean it too. Get it cleaned out and the glass above that drawer cleaned. Kept looking down. Yep. Bottom of the fridge found the rest of the juice. So, needless to say, my fridge is clean (just don't look at my shelves!).
I hope everyone else is having a better day than I am having. Like I said, I'm not going to say it can't get any worse, because I'm sure it will. Just know if you don't see me for a few days, I'm in bed hoping nothing else goes wrong!!

Weird Cravings

2009-02-19T10:51:00.003-06:00

Last night I had this weird craving. I wanted to eat some cucumber slices and pico de gallo. I have no idea why, but last night that sounded so good to me. Ryan and I have been trying to do better with our eating habits and sitting down to eat a meal with the kids. Anyone who has known me since I was a kid, knows I was never a big vegetable eater. About the only vegetables I would eat were, green beans, corn, corn on the cob, black eyed peas, fried squash and fresh tomatoes, ones right from the vine in our backyard. My mom always made me try three bites of everything every time we sat down to eat. I HATED asparagus, spinach, red beans, cucumbers, celery, just about any other vegetable you can think of. Now that I am older and a mom, I make my kids do the same thing. Tanner will get so mad at me and take as small as bites as he possibly can to say he ate three bites. I don't know if my taste buds have changed, but now I will eat cucumbers, fried or roasted asparagus, spinach that is fresh in my salad, peas, zuchini, egg plant, brocolli, and red beans. I just find it so weird at what I will eat and try now that I am growing up! (I won't same that I'm grown, because you are only as young as you want to be!) Does anyone else crave things like that? Am I weird? (Ryan, no response!)

Precious Moments

2009-02-17T13:48:00.003-06:00

There are times when my children are so sweet and loving to each other and then there are times when they could kill one another. I know it is the whole sibling thing, that is what they are suppose to do, but jeez, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster most nights.

Ella has been funny voicing her opinions lately. Saturday night, she decided she wanted to sleep in Tanner's bed. Usually, I can talk her out of it and she will go to sleep with me rocking her in the recliner and then put to bed. Saturday, was a whole different story. She wanted to sleep with her brother and there was no way around it. I asked Tanner if it would be alright for his sister to sleep with him. He reluctantly agreed. So we said "Amen" and kissed both kids goodnight. My arms felt empty for the first time in a long time. I have always put Ella to bed at night and after two years it was kind of hard, but nice. 30 minutes later I go in to Tanner's room to see if they are asleep. No, Ella won't hush. I guess she is so excited that she gets to sleep with her brother that she hasn't gotten still or quiet to go to bed. I have to tell her to get quiet and go to sleep. "K Mom" Go back in 30 minutes later and they are both sound asleep. I noticed Tanner holding her hand. That made my heart melt. Next morning we get up and as I'm fixing breakfast I asked Tanner how sleeping with his sister went. "Fine", his standard reply to EVERYTHING. No elaboration just "Fine." I asked if she finally got still and he said "Yea. But I had to hold her hand before she would go to sleep." I told him he was an awesome brother for letting his little sister sleep with him. So, now, she starts off in Tanner's bed, but quickly winds up in my lap to be rocked to sleep. That time by far is my favorite time of day.

As I was typing that, I was trying to think back on my childhood memories wondering if I ever slept with my sister. I can honestly say I didn't. But that didn't mean my sister didn't torment me or we didn't have fun when I was little. One of my favorite memories is the first Christmas she came home from college. We moved to Clarendon the summer before she went to college, so having her home was a big thing for me. I had my sister back. For me, moving that time without her being there was hard. She was the one who I had moved with lots of times and we shared our experiences together. Anyway, the first night home, she and I laughed and stayed up late. We were mostly laughing because as a Sophomore in high school, I was balancing her checkbook. That night, I guess it was around 3AM, my mom comes in the kitchen and tells us to get quiet and go to sleep. We were both in our own beds, in our own rooms laughing and talking and keeping mom and dad awake. We started giggling histerically because we had heard mom say many many times, "Girls, get quiet and go to sleep" I remember going to bed that night realizing how much my sister meant to me and what having her home meant. I hope that one day my kids will be able to have memories similar to that.

Better

2009-02-04T13:30:00.005-06:00

Gosh, today I downloaded pics off my camera and didn't realize I had pics on there from New Year's Eve. Some were sweet. Especially the ones where Tanner is playing with Ella. They both love to help me cook and they both love to pretend to cook.

Ella thinks anytime I am in the kitchen, she has to have a chair and help me cook. So she starts hollering at her dad to get her a chair so she can help momma. Sometimes the help is wonderful, other times, well, let's just say, it's a good thing I have patience.
Then there are other pics where I realize what a great big brother Tanner can be. He let's her do just about anything to him without complaint. She loves to wrestle, kick, and be one of the boys, but only on her terms. She also loves to be a girly girl and fix hair. Tanner let's her. He will probably be the boy who will have painted fingernails because his sister wants to paint them!

Then the ones I love the most....movie night. I ordered a feather down pad for mine and Ryan's bed and got another one cheaper, but I thought, what a great thing to lay on in the floor to watch movies!! They loved it and even wanted to sleep in the living room that night.

I promised myself I would be better this year about downloading pics and getting them developed. So, that is my goal. At least once a month, order pics to stay caught up on my albums and scrapbooks! No scoffing Ryan!

Following Directions

2009-01-27T07:46:00.005-06:00

Can you believe I got in trouble for not following directions? Me either! Last night, we decided to fix meatloaf for supper. Tanner loves meatloaf and was so excited. So I find this recipe in Better Homes and Gardens for mini loaves. It said divide the meat into four equal sections. So, I did and since they are mini meat loaves, I shaped them into mini loaves. Well, directions said, to form a 2 inch oval patty, (evidently, I didn't see that part) and bake for 15 minutes. I knew that it would take longer than 15 minutes. But thought, what the heck, here we go. Put it in the oven, baked for 20 minutes, checked and no where close to done. So we put them back in and after another 20 minutes, pull them back out, still not done. I then take a spatula and flattened them and throw them back in the oven for another 20 minutes. Perfect. It wasn't dry, great flavor, and Tanner did not eat it! He likes his Nesey's meatloaf better! So much for trying to make meatloaf. Ryan and I decided that we would fix it again, only not make mini loaves, just dump it in and bake it for an hour.
After supper, I went to the gym and came home to fix my bed. I ordered a feather-down mattress pad for our bed. It came in yesterday, and let me tell you, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my bed now. It is so soft and warm. So nice to wake up without my back hurting. I bet now that my back isn't hurting, that Ryan's will be. He said he didn't like our old bed, but I find him quit frequently in Tanner's bed sleeping nicely. He says it's because Tanner let's him play with his hair, I think he still likes that bed!!
Ryan put a picture on his blog that said he probably said something he shouldn't have. Well, I don't remember what was said, but he wasn't in trouble, but I wanted to show you a couple of other pics James took. We are so fortunate to have someone who takes such great pictures of us. I doubt we would be able to get this in a studio.

This picture I am going to blow up and have it in black and white and frame it in a black frame, I think. Haven't decided on the frame, but I really like the picture.

My knives needing sharpening

2009-01-20T14:31:00.005-06:00

Oh my goodness!! Last night I started preparing the meat that I was fixing for fajitas. I like to trim a lot of the fat off, just because I don't like it. I'm telling you, I went through three knives to just trim the meat, then I went through another two hoping that one of them would be sharp just so I could slice the meat to get it in a pan. After 45 minutes, my arms were tired and I was frustrated since I didn't have a single sharp knife in my arsonal. Ugh!! You would think out of all the knives we have that somewhere, I would have a sharp one!! So Steph, I know I skipped on my arms yesterday morning, but I made it up last night!! I think that is karma coming back to bite me! So, if your arms are needing a good workout, I recommend trimming meat with DULL knives, it will do the job.

Magic bean Stalk

2009-01-08T17:20:00.003-06:00

I just got home and since we are now wearing big girl panties, I went in and told Ella to use the potty. She sat down and said, "Mom, yeave me ayone and cose the door." Ok, I can respect a girls privacy. I step out to go check the mail. Open the mail and put my bills up and throw away the trash. Two minutes maybe. Go back to the bathroom just as Ella is saying "Mom, I need you." I walk in and find my daughter with her panties around her ankles, the bath mat in her hands with poop on it and a puzzled look on Ella's face. (She has a little potty that she sits on.) Anyway, I ask "Ella, honey, what are you doing?" She said "Mom, I was just tryin to make magic bean stalk grow" It took me a while, but finally realized she was going to use her poop to get magic beans for the bean stalk to grow. Yeah, she has watched the Mickey Mouse version of Jack and the Bean Stalk. I have no idea why she thought that a magic bean stalk would grow from poop!!

Back to a routine

2009-01-08T08:17:00.003-06:00

It amazes me that it is so hard to get back into a routine after being gone away from it for a few days. Over the holidays, we had so much candy and food that at any point in time during the day, I always found myself heading over to the candy bowl or walking by a grabbing some sort of snack. Then we stayed up late a few nights or slept a little later a few mornings. We lounged in pj's most days. Those were nice times and days.
Now, we are back to reality and it is slapping me in the face. Wait, maybe that is Ryan slapping me in the face so I will quit slapping the snooze button. I don't know, but this morning I found myself standing in the shower with my eyes closed leaning against the shower wall wishing I was still in bed. We have been back at work for almost a week and I can't seem to get it together. I find myself looking for snacks or candy to eat and not really wanting to work. The kids are not ready to go to bed at their normal time, but when we have to get up early, they are slow and groggy.
We haven't made it back to our full routine, as Sunday and Monday, were spent with friends. Tuesday and last night were partially spent at the hospital. Ella and I stayed home yesterday morning since she was running fever. Nothing serious, just a little sore throat. Hopefully, next week, I will be able to get with it. I have been trying to get back to eating better, no snacking, not much candy. Start walking/running so I won't be so out of breath by the time I get to the top of the stairs at the courthouse. Getting the kids in bed on time, the house cleaned and laundry caught back up. Being on vacation was so much easier, but that is not reality. I hope everyone else is having an easier time!!

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-31T11:18:00.003-06:00

I contemplated even doing this. I am not going to actually tell you all of my resolutions for the up coming year, but after I thought about it, I thought I would tell you some of my past ones. Especially the ones in the past five years.

Every year, I always ask for a healthy year. For the past 5 years, either, Ryan, Ella or myself have been so sick that we should have been in the hospital, actually been in the hospital or visited the ER. So instead of asking for a healthy year, I'm hoping that we have a year with one less visit to the hospital or doctor. And I am almost certain I just jinxed myself on New Year's Eve. Here is for hoping!!

I also ask that we are more blessed each year. And we are. We are blessed by our friends, family and jobs. We have family and so many dear friends who we love and would do anything for. Please know that we will always be willing to lend a helping hand and each of you hold a special place in our hearts.

I ask for patience each year. I need patience more than anyone will ever know. I have to remind myself daily that Tanner is still a child, not small, but who I love and adore. Even though he is smart, he is still a kid. I need patience with my daughter who is very demanding of her mother. She wants me to hold her or hold her hand or sit with me. I love it dearly, for I know that one day that will all be gone. I have to remember that daily too. I ask for patience for me to deal with Ryan being impatient at times. I also ask for patience for my husband. He is terrible with patience. I ask for his patience to deal with me. I know I am not easy to deal with all the time. I know I always have a lot to do and not ever enough time with anyone. Hopefully, I will get better.

The last thing I want is love. Every year I have been extremely blessed with love. More so in the past 5 years. Until Ryan came along, my mom and I didn't have the best relationship. He helped me open my eyes and through him I have been blessed with more from my mother, my family, from him, his family, his friends, and our children. It feels great to know that there are so many special people who we love and adore.

I wish everyone a safe, healthy and Happy New Year! See everyone next year!!

My wish!!

2008-12-29T08:10:00.004-06:00

My Christmas wish came true!! Everyone in the Mills' house was healthy and happy this Christmas. We had a great Christmas and everyone had a few surprises this holiday. Christmas Eve was not as long of a day as I had expected, but did end on a late note. We had family movie night, and put out cookies and milk for Santa. Finally crawled in bed around 12:30. To ensure we wouldn't be up at 4, Ryan, had a few beverages. Great idea, get to sleep til at least 6!!! I could not have been more wrong. Tanner, the one who always wants to sleep later than anyone else, was up at 3:30. 3:30!! He woke up and came into my room at 4 and says "Mom, Santa has been here!" I roll over and peek from underneath my heavy eyelids at him and tell him to come get me in 30 more minutes. 30 minutes on the dot, he is in my room telling me it had been 30 minutes and he cannot contain his excitement any longer. I roll over and punch Ryan and tell him it's time to get up. He asked what time it was and then proudly announces, "I want the record to show that I wasn't the first one up this year!" We go to the living room and he sees what Santa has brought. Tanner is so excited over his Nintendo DS he can barely stand it. He also got a Mega Spinosaurus to go with his Mega TRex. I'm trying to delay getting Ella up, but Tanner has started going through her stuff, so it's time to get her up. With her eyes closed, she tells me that she can't see. The boys start telling her what all Santa has brought and she is still saying she can't see, but then all of a sudden she jumps out of my lap with a huge smile on her face and heads straight for her baby doll and stroller. The best thing for me, was seeing the look on Ryan's face when he opened his last present. I wrapped an iTunes giftcard thinking he would know he was getting an iPod and when he opened the iTunes giftcard, I thought he would know right away that the iPod was next. Obviously, he didn't know why he got the giftcard. Priceless...he was so excited, I almost started crying. He kept saying, no way, this isn't real...no way! We were finished opening presents at 5:30 and I had to delay until everyone got up at Nesey's so we could go over there. Ryan didn't want to leave his iPod, but it had to charge. Of course, Ella crashed before we got to eat lunch and I did soon after lunch. That night we went to my mom and dad's and opened presents with them and then home to bed. Tanner was trying to argue that he could stay up for a movie. His day was not complete until he was able to watch a Godzilla movie, and he finally crashed.

Ella decided to see if she could fit her in baby doll playpen...looks like she can!

This one is of my nephew who is so sweet and happy...My great grandmother is holding him and he doesn't seem to mind.

This last one is of 5 generations on my dad's side. My great grandmother, my grandmother, my dad, my sister, myself and our kids. It amazes me that she has lived as long as she has and to have seen as much as she has. She is going to be the one who out lives us all.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!!

Weekend Wrap-up

2008-12-22T11:56:00.003-06:00

What a great weekend we had. I'm so excited that my sister and her family came up for us to do Christmas this past weekend. We had a great time. The kids played, we ate way too much food and I got to see my nephew who is so stinking cute!! Love his little round face. I will post pics later..promise. The kids were excited over their presents. I was really surprised that my older nephew enjoyed his Spy Gear stuff as much as he did. He wore his watch all day and dang it, I owe my sister some batteries...I didn't remember it all needing batteries! Oh well. Ella got some more dress up clothes, another purse, some baby bottles and diapers for her baby dolls, and her notepad with pens!! Loved every bit of it, she did. So much so, that she has been carrying ALL of her presents around for two days now. Anytime we go anywhere, we have to wait for her to put everything in her purse, grab her wings, her diapers, her notepad, all of it just so we can go. So funny!! Tanner played with Cason all weekend. No fussing, no arguing, no tattle telling. So nice. They played dinosaurs and what not. It was neat to see how much both of them have grown up and how well they played together and used their imaginations. Now for my littlest nephew Jake. So sweet, I wanted to just squeeze him and eat him up!! (not literally) He was always pretty happy and just wanted to be in the middle of it all. My brother-in-law was at our house Saturday night to watch the Cowboys. I loved his entertainment. He is a true die-hard Cowboys fan and he was yelling and cussing at the tv, like they could actually hear him. I do not think I have laughed that hard in a while. Ryan had more fun listening to him and my dad than he did watching the game!! Loved to see and visit my sister. I miss her, and I wish that we didn't live so far away. I do enjoy going to see her and her coming here. Just wish it wasn't so few and far between.

I've been wanting to write about our year, but I may wait until December 31st, so not to jinx myself!! I truly hope everyone has a great week with family and friends. Love to all and have a Merry Christmas!!

Practice

2008-12-18T10:31:00.006-06:00

Well, I can defintely say I am not ready for this!! Ella gave me a little practice run for Christmas Eve/Christmas morning. I'm failing miserably right now. I can barely keep my eyes open.
My sweet, wonderful, beautiful little girl went to bed at normal time last night. She wakes up this morning, not knowing what time it was, and wants me to lay in bed with her. I lay down and fully expect her to go back to sleep. Nope, the next thing I know, I feel her little face in my face telling me she is ready to watch some tv. I said it's not time to get up yet, hoping she would lay back down and go back to sleep. Yea, that didn't happen. So after an hour of laying there and her talking she gets back in my face and asks where her daddy is. I told her he is in bed sleeping. By this time I thought well, it's almost 6 and the alarm will be going off soon. So, I pick her up and we go to mine and Ryan's bed. As I round the corner I look at the clock to see if the alarm is fixing to go off.....NOPE! It was 4:48 am!! I lay her in bed and tell her that her daddy is on the other side of the bed and to tell him good morning! He grunts and groans and wants to know why I brought her to our bed. I told him, she wanted her daddy!! After wrestling with her for 15 minutes she proclaims, I'm ready to watch Tigger and Pooh momma. Ryan, who is clearly exasperated says will you just get up and put it on. I roll out of bed and take Ella to the living room and turn on Tigger and Pooh. Thirty minutes later, she wants Mickey Mouse, 30 minutes later, I tell her daddy it is his turn so I can get 30 minutes of sleep before I have to jump in the shower and head off to work at 7. Hopefully, Christmas morning I will get more of an opportunity to sleep and it won't be a surprise!!

It's beginning to FEEL a lot like Christmas

2008-12-17T07:47:00.003-06:00

This year has been different for me. This is the first time in a while that I can think of that I am actually looking forward to Christmas. I made myself start Christmas shopping back in September and therefore, I am not running around at the last minute looking for presents that will do simply because I waited too long. Ryan even asked me why I was so excited. I told him because I'm not stressing over what to buy and hoping I don't go over budget. The weather in the past few days has really put me in the Christmas mood. It has been cold, which I really don't like, but what is Christmas without cold or snow? I can also say that because I wasn't out much.
I have also decided this Christmas Eve, I am sleeping in what I plan on wearing Christmas day. I'm sure you are thinking that is CRAZY!! Let me explain. On Christmas Eve, Ryan is so wound up about what Santa will bring for him and the kids that he keeps me up until 2 or 3 and then we get up at 4 or 5 to see what Santa brought. I keep telling him Santa won't come if you are waiting for him. He will relent for about an hour or two and then he is ready to see. He wakes the kids up and we all, half asleep, have to open presents. So, to save me time and so I can get a quick nap later, I will sleep in my clothes for Christmas day.
I hope everyone is ready for Christmas!! I wish everyone a HEALTHY Christmas that is filled with love, peace, joy and no sickness!!

Christmas Tag

2008-12-11T10:05:00.004-06:00

Here's to you Sharon!!

1) Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper, more fun to open
2) Real or Artificial tree? Artificial, less mess
3) When do you put your tree up? The weekend after Thanksgiving, usually never soon enough.
4) When do you take your tree down? Usually,New Year's Day, depends on how much time I get to have off.
5) Do you like eggnog? No
6)Favorite gift received as a child? My Child Doll
7) Hardest person to buy for? My dad, father-in-law and brother-in-law!
8) Easiest person to buy for? Ryan
9) Do you have a nativity scene? No...maybe next year
10) Mail or e-mail Christmas Cards? Mail
11) Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't think of one
12) Favorite Christmas Movie? Polar Express...great movie
13) When do you start shopping for Christmas? This year it was September...hopefully earlier next year.
14) Do you hang mistletoe? No.
15) Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? fudge and cinnamon candy-when my mom used to make it
16) Lights on tree? Yes
17) Favorite Christmas Song? Noel
18) Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home on Christmas day, it is too hard to travel with santa gifts and other ones too!!
19) Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph
20) Angel or Star on top of tree? Neither-Santa hat
21) Open the presents Christmas Eve or Morning? Christmas morning. We did Christmas Eve one year because Tanner was sick
22) Most annoying thing about this time of year? How wrapped up we all get with getting the perfect gift for someone.
23) Favorite ornament theme or color? My angels
24) Favorite for Christmas Dinner? Ryan's beef tenderloin...hopefully I won't be sick this year and really enjoy it
25) What do you want for Christmas this year? To see my family happy
26)Who do you tag? Jami, Sharalyn, Karin, Ryan, Casey

Random Post

2008-12-03T10:48:00.005-06:00

Today I was downloading some pics off my camera and found some I wanted to post. My family always seems to be chaotic at times. Sometimes they are sweet, sometimes they are funny and sometime they are mad. But this picture is the one that really worries me...they are too calm and quiet...kind of like the calm before the storm!
See, I heard noise later, and this is what I walk in on...Ella standing on the bed telling me, actually she was yelling at me she is playing football with the boys mom!

I couldn't pass this one up. One of my favorites. I had help blowing out my birthday candles with my kids...good thing they did not put 30 individual candles on the cake...I had a hard enough time blowing those out!!

Ta Da!!!
Meet Lizzy!!! The kids enjoyed helping me put her up and the ornaments too!

And last but not least. My new bedding that I got an awesome deal on at 5 am at Wal-Mart. Yes, I was one of the crazies out that morning, but I got an awesome deal...Now to paint my bedroom...UGH!

Sam is dead!!

2008-11-30T14:58:00.003-06:00

I know, it is so sad, but Sam is no longer with us!! He had to go on to Christmas tree heaven. So, we ordered a new one and Lizzy is just perfect for our little family. She was delivered to us on Tuesday and we were able to put her up yesterday. The kids were so excited and were dancing around the living room. Tanner being a bull in china closet, but yet a perfectionist and Ella just excited to put one ornament on the tree! She dropped one ornament, as she called it, the North Pole and it broke. After we got all of the ornaments on, Ella kept walking around the tree saying how beautiful it was and wanting to touch it. At one point she laid down in front of it on her belly, propped her chin on her hands and had her legs curled up. It would have been a perfect picture, but couldn't get to my camera fast enough.

We also had a great night Friday night. We went to the Childress Christmas festival and had a great time. Tanner was upset because he didn't win a cake at the cake walk. Maybe next year. Before we went, we promised the kids we would go to McDonald's and then come back home for movie night. So, I left with the kids and we headed to McDonald's to get food and made it home to eat. After we ate, we took showers and baths, and snuggled down for movie night. Tanner was so pumped that Ryan was joining us. Ryan, had a rough night at movie night. First, he tried to get Ella to sit with him, only to be turned down because she has her own special chair she sits in. Then he put in the wrong movie, then he couldn't figure out how to get the main menu to pop up with his PS3 remote!! He started pouting and said, I guess ole' dad just ruined movie night. We had a great time and watched a good movie.

Friday morning was crazy too. I went out to Wal-Mart at 4:30 in the morning so I could get a few things on sale. CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY!! Mom and I get there and as soon as we get in, a cashier tells us, we can't put anything on sale in our basket. I said ok and went to go see if I could find everything I wanted. I did except for the sheets. The sheets did not come in, but they did put some others on sale. Super pumped at this time to know that I can get a king size sheets for next to nothing. Then I also saw a comforter set. Even more pumped because it is not that expensive either and I have been wanting it in the dark brown!! Let's just say blue and yellow weren't doing it for me! Anyway, I thought I would try to go over to electronics and pick up the digital photo frame. There was absolutely no way that I would be able to get over to it. Then the next thing I saw was two dudes fighting over an XBox 360. CRAZY! The funny thing was, neither one of them got it, because as they were fighting a lady went underneath them and took it!! Leave it to a woman to WIN!!

I know Monday is coming soon and all the laziness and sleeping late is over. It was fun while it lasted!! Now, I can't wait until Christmas. I have a few things up my sleeve. Hopefully, everyone will be surprised. I think I am going to have to put the singing peguins up...Ella keeps hitting the button. As I have been sitting at the computer, she keeps playing it over and over. Maybe the batteries will go dead soon!! I hope everyone had a great holiday!!

As soon as I get to work tomorrow, I will post pics of Lizzy, we are so happy she is with us now!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2008-11-27T09:30:00.005-06:00

I hope this finds everyone having a great Thanksgiving with friends and family. I know that as I type this, my house and heart are filled with love and best wishes for all of my family and friends. I cannot even begin to tell you what all I am thankful for this year. There are so many things! Even at 6:30 in the morning when my son comes to my bed, his first words this morning, "Happy Thanksgiving Mom" quickly followed by, I can't sleep anymore, what do I do? Dad is snoring in my bed and you are still asleep in here. What do I do? I love and am eternal thankful that he is pretty self sufficient! I told him that he could watch tv in the living room or one of his shows that we recorded. So, off to the living room he goes. About 30 minutes later I hear Ryan. Then the boys start wrestling in the living room. Ella wakes up and goes to see what is going on. She then comes and piles in the bed with her dad and brother! I tell Ella Happy Thanksgiving sweet girl! She tells me "Tanner said that to me too" It was too funny.
I hope that as a family, I can create good memories for my kids as my parents did for me. I remember spending time with family and everyone laughing and talking. Ryan still is not used to that. My dad's side of the family is pretty big, and when we all get together, we can get pretty loud. I remember one thanksgiving where we were sitting on my grandmother's porch in her porch swing. I know at least 7 grandkids were piled in the swing. We were swinging and the next thing you know, the swing is down on the porch. We broke her swing. She was not happy with us and we were all laughing so hard.
This is also the weekend that we start putting up Christmas decorations. The kids and Ryan are so excited. They actually wanted me to put up the tree yesterday!! I told them that we can't put the tree up before Thanksgiving. It is something that started 7 years ago. Not only will we put the tree up this weekend, but we will have to find a new ornament for everyone and a new Christmas decoration. It's another tradition Ryan and I started. Every holiday, we buy a new decoration. It's amazing, in 7 years just how many decorations I have now!! I love it though.
I wish everyone a great Thanksgiving. Love to all!

My Big 8's

2008-11-19T08:16:00.004-06:00

Here you go Steph!!

8 TV Shows I Love to Watch
*Priveleged
*Criminal Minds
*Little People, Big World
*One Tree Hill
*Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
*Property Virgins
*House Hunters
*Little Einsteins

8 Favorite Restaurants
*Roasted Peppers
*Olive Garden
*Abuelo's
*Chili's
*Sam Hill's BBQ
*Zookini's
*Guero's Taco Bar
*Hard 8 BBQ

8 Things That Happened Today
*Got ready for work
*Got Ella dressed
*Took Ella to Denese's
*Kissed my kids bye
*Kissed my husband bye
*Became swamped with work
*Talked with a good friend
*Blogged!!

8 Things I am Looking Forward to
*Thanksgiving
*Christmas
*To see what my kids do with their lives
*Growing old with Ryan
*Traveling with my family
*Spending time with family
*Spending time with friends
*Getting my house fixed!

8 Things on My Wishlist
*For my family to be happy and healthy
*For my kids to be compasionate and caring
*Travel the world one day
*My house fixed now!
*Debt free
*Worry less
*Always be this happy
*To have my dream house!

Movie Night

2008-11-17T08:14:00.003-06:00

Friday night instead of going to the playoff game, Tanner, Ella and I, changed into out pj's, snuggled in our favorite places, ate some popcorn and watched a movie.We watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Tanner liked the movie and Ella did for about an hour. We had a great time. The next morning Ella asked me if we were going to watch a movie and eat popcorn. I told her no silly girl, we were going to eat breakfast and then get dressed. She was so disappointed that we weren't going to have a movie day I guess! Last night Ryan was gone again and I thought about doing movie night again, but Ella was way too hyper to try to watch a movie. So instead, she and Tanner danced around the living room while I was baking cookies. He was tired of dancing and was running from her so he wouldn't have to dance with her any more. She kept hollering at him "Tanner, get back here. Right now. I need to dance." So funny. So it looks like now Friday's are going to be our designated Movie Night. I can't wait, because now with the weather getting cooler, we can snuggle down for the night and watch a good movie with the kids!

So Fortunate

2008-11-13T07:55:00.004-06:00

I am so fortunate to have the wonderful husband that I have. I know he may slug me in the middle of the night, or put bouggers in my hair, but he is so awesome! He called me up last night while I was fixing supper and said I want to give you your birthday present tonight. I could tell he was all excited and had no idea what it could be. I told him last night like I have the past 4 years that I don't need nor want anything for my birthday. So when he told me he had a present I told him it better just be a big bag of 3 Musketeers. He walks in with his hands behind his back and a huge smile on his face. That tells me he is super excited over what he has for me and that I am probably going to like what he has. He pulls it out from around him and it is a new camera! I know, it's not anything fancy or high tech, but a new camera!! I knew that I didn't have to have a new camera and told him that I would wait until spring so I could save some money and buy what I wanted. My old camera, takes good pics and holds quite a few of them but it is six years old and lets face it, digital cameras have come a long way in six years. Not only are the pics crisper, but my new camera zooms further (it seems like it does)and takes pics quicker. So, not only is it an early birthday present, but a Christmas present as well. Now I really have everything I want. So Ryan, no more Christmas presents!! I had to show you some pics that I took last night with it. I love it!! Thank you Ryan, you are so good to me. Love ya!

Fall Cleaning

2008-11-12T10:08:00.004-06:00

This weekend I did the fall cleaning on the kids rooms. I clean out their closets, their toys and we do it in the fall before Christmas instead of the spring. The biggest reason I love doing it, is because I get to spend time with the kids and really get to go through their rooms and see what they have. After we clean out the toys we don't play with any longer, we take them to Ms. Angie's. I couldn't believe how many toys Tanner has and Ella for that matter too! A lot of Tanner's are toys that he has had for years that he no longer has any use for. Another funny thing I found in Tanner's room were some of Ella's toys. I would tell the kids to clean up their rooms and put their toys up. Evidently, Ella put them up in Tanner's room. At least she put them up. It took a full day alone in Tanner's room. He likes the idea of giving his toys to Ms. Angie or to someone who could use them. He realizes how fortunate he is to have as many toys as he does and not everyone is as fortunate as he is, so he is always willing to go through his toys and donate them. Ella's room took half a day. As soon as I would start putting her toys back up, she would pull them back out. Finally, she took a nap and I got everything back in it's place. Last night, she cleaned her room and even put her babies to bed. So sweet! I hope that she will enjoy doing this as much as Tanner does.

Forgot!!

2008-11-06T09:09:00.005-06:00

I forgot that I finally found my camera and I have been snapping away. Finally downloaded my pics to my computer and remembered that I was going to show you that Ella and I scared Ryan. Greatness, we think!!

Ella refused to be standing on the ground with the remote controlled rat so she had to sit on the cabinet and I had to sit with her so we could scare her daddy.

She tries so hard to be big and do EVERYTHING Tanner does. The other night, he was working on a project and had to have his crayons, markers, pens and pencils all out and I made him sit at the table. Ella wanted to do a project too. I get out Tanner's folding table, get her a chair, get her a poster board, get her some crayons and pencils so she can do her "Homework" too!! I love it!

In all of her sweetness, she can be very demanding. We got the JCPenny catalog that has a lot of babydoll things in it and I cannot throw it away because she looks at it everyday. One day, after a very long day with no nap, she wanted to watch My Friends Tigger and Pooh, great show for her, and she had to have her "Babydoll book" She had laid on the couch for 5 minutes and was completely out!! Her legs crossed, book in hand and sound asleep!

I can't believe how big she has gotten. She is growing up into a little girl and not much longer until she becomes a woman. That scares me. Something else that scares me, my son and his eating!! He amazes me everyday with that. I have talked to Amy about this, and she said the same thing. I thought boys didn't start eating out of house and home until they were like pre-teens to teenagers?!! I'm so amazed. Last night, he ate steak with my in-laws, potatos and some cauliflower. Then around 7ish, we had to go run some errands real quick and stopped by McDonald's to get Ella something to eat and he is wanting another meal!!! ANOTHER MEAL?! Oh my gosh!! Ryan ordered him a double cheeseburger. He ate that, my fries, and some of his sister's fries. I know it won't get any better!! But I didn't know it would start this early. Maybe, I just need to get over it and go on.

Another Day?

2008-11-05T08:48:00.003-06:00

Trey posted a blog yesterday that I loved. He was talking about things that happen throughout the course of the day that make us say "AAUGH" Yea, well, have you ever had a whole day that was like that? My entire day yesterday was like that. It started really early. I got to work a little before 7 and spent 5 minutes digging through my purse for my office keys only to realize, they are not there. Went and had my teeth cleaned and wound up wounded (my own fault). Got back and spent the entire day by myself at my office, keep in mind, first of the month is our busiest time!! Finally get home and think, "It can't get any worse." Only to have to clean my stove. Not just wipe it down, I'm talking pulling burners out and those little silver pans out and cleaning under them type of cleaning! Which I found out, I obviously don't do it often enough! I was so glad to go to bed last night!! Have you ever had a day like that? Where it seems everything you do is jinxed or you have some kind of hex on you?

Halloween

2008-11-03T09:02:00.004-06:00

This Halloween was different this year as Ryan was unable to go trick-or-treating with the kids. He was a little sad that he didn't get to go, but the kids had a great time.

Tanner wanted me to make a robot costume this year, which I was all about. However, he waited until Wednesday to tell me exactly how he wanted his robot costume to look. I told him, I don't have enough time to do that, but what if we find something else for you to be. So we searched online and looked and he was either going to be a chef or a mad scientist. He finally decided on a mad scientist and I start planning and looking through what we had at home so I would know what to go get. Amazingly, we had everything but a lab coat for him. That problem was easily solved and he had a great time. Ella's mind switched every day. One day, it was a butterfly, another, a lady bug, another, a princess, the next-a fairy, finally she was a fairy princess!! I think this year was probably my favorite year of trick-or-treating. Since the guys were out of town, Sharon and I take the kids downtown and had a good time.

After we finished, we went to roast marshmallows and the Horton's joined us and had a great time being with them!!

I hope everyone had a safe and Happy Halloween!

Amazed

2008-10-23T20:18:00.002-05:00

Tonight Ryan came home and we had a visitor. As we were sitting talking with her, Ella decides to ride the horsie, aka my leg. As my leg was getting a work out, she starts counting. I'm half listening to her as I am carrying on a conversation with our guest and all of a sudden I hear Ryan say "Holy Cow!" I looked at him and he is in complete amazement.

R: "She can count!"
M: "I know"
R: "She can count to 10"
M: "I know"
R: "When did she learn that trick?"

I'm sitting here thinking, it's not a trick. It's something she is suppose to be doing honey. He was wanting to know how long she has been counting to 10 and I told him for a while now. He keeps telling me I'm full of it, and I'm not. She has been counting for a while, just only on her terms!

I love to sit and watch her. She loves to dance. Yes, I dance with her. We do the hot dog dance among many. When I am off on Friday's we turn on a mixed cd real loud and start dancing around the kitchen. She tries to sing, but poor girl, she tries her best. I love to watch her excitement and face as we dance. It is all smiles and beautiful!! Tanner and I used to dance when he was little. But then he got too big and I had a hard time holding him as we danced. I look back and wish he were still that age and we could do that again. He too always was smiling. I loved his little round face that was always bright with a smile and happiness.

Gone

2008-10-23T09:56:00.002-05:00

My camera is gone. I have no idea where it is or where it could be. I have looked everywhere I know to look and it is gone!! It had some pics on it that I wanted to download and now I can't. I was wanting a new camera, but not at the expense of loosing my old one!! I'm going completely nuts looking for it. I'm not totally convinced that Ryan did something with it, because it has some pics that I have of him and he is mad at me for taking them (he he he!)

Let me explain that... Ella and I were at home one Saturday. I had just pulled out all of our halloween decorations and was going through our stuff. I found our remote controlled rat. Ryan amd Tanner weren't at home and Ella told me the rat was ugly. I said "I know, looks scary doesn't it." She said yea and that it scared her. I said "Oh, it won't hurt you, but I bet we can scare daddy with it." She start giggling and says "Yea." Great, we've got a plan and she will not sit in the floor in our kitchen because she is afraid it will get her. So she and I are perched on the cabinet by the back door waiting for our prey to come in. FINALLY, they arrive and Tanner zips by. Ryan looks at Ella and I as we sit smiling and then jumps straight up. He then saw the flash of my camera and realized we got him on camera jumping at a stupid remote controlled rat!! Ella laughed and said "That was funny."

So now I'm sad, because it had some pics on it, that I really wanted and I can't find them. And now I'm going to have to go buy film for my other camera so I will have halloween pics. Dang it!! I'm not giving up on finding it though. I know it is at my house somewhere. It has to be.

Real Dreams

2008-10-20T20:01:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had a dream that feels so real that you wake up thinking it really did happen? Yea, me too. Last night as a matter of fact. I was having a crazy dream that I was fighting someone and I was beginning to get tired wondering if the fight was ever going to be over. Well, I finally woke up and realized I was really fighting. I was fighting with Ryan. You know, the little girlie fight where you do nothing but slap each others hands. Yea, that would be Ryan and I. I think that it just a defense mechanism that I have when I sleep. Since I never know what I am going to wake up to, I'm already in self defense mode. Crazy?!

6 & 6

2008-10-15T08:36:00.004-05:00

I was curious to see which picture was in my computer....I know I'm a little slow, but I have been off since last Thursday and today is my 1st day back. Here is my 6th picture in my 6th file....This really makes me sad!! To know she will never be that little and INNOCENT again.

Recharged and Energized Again

2008-10-13T12:57:00.003-05:00

As I sit here typing, I have a two year old saying, "Tanner just told me no" I have no idea what he told her no about, but I'm sure he didn't meet her demand right then.

I had an awesome weekend with Ryan. I needed some time away with just the two of us. An opportunity arose to meet some of our wonderful friends at the Tech ballgame, so we jumped at the chance. The morning started at 7:45 for me and 8:30 for the rest of my family. Ella came and crawled in bed and went right back to sleep, I got up while there was still peace and no chaos. I was getting their clothes together and stuff ready for the day as I knew that my mom and dad would be doing for me. Tanner had pictures at 10:30 and a game at 11:00. I gathered his stuff up as well as Ella's bags and clothes. I walk into our bedroom getting ready to jump in the shower and Ryan looks at me and smiles...Wow! It's been a long time since he has done that!! Then this puzzled look comes over his face. He looks to his right and then back at me. Looks to his right again and back at me. This look has yet to vanish on his face. He looks at me again and this time raises up...yes, honey, you are playing with Ella's hair and not mine. I go on into the bathroom and just as I am climbing in the shower, he tells me, oh by the way, we need to be gone by 9. By 9? Are you kidding me? Both kids are still asleep, I haven't had a shower and I still need to get all of my stuff done!! Oh well!! Rush around and get out of the house, meet mom and dad and leave all of the kids stuff with them. We are heading out of town and I look down and realize, I will be Ryan's girlfriend today and not his wife!! All of my jewelry was left on my nightstand, my wedding ring included.

We get to Lubbock and go the long way around to Jones stadium. I tried to tell him to go a different way, but like with last time, he went a different way. Hmm...you would think he would know better by now! Finally get there and watched an awesome game. I loved the traditions that Tech has, enjoyed watching the band, and really enjoyed watching Tech win. It is so awesome to see everyone in the stands getting into the game. It wasn't just the student section, it was everyone, young and old alike. Tanner is a lot like the Mills' men-tight lipped about how much he really likes it! At one point during the game, we were surrounded by kids, mostly high school, but some jr. high mixed in and it was hillarious to listen to them. I am so glad that I do not have to go back to that age ever again. It also opened up Ryan's eyes, as to what he is in for with his little girl as there were mostly girls in front of us for a while. We hated to part with our friends, but knew they had to go, next time we will go eat after the game with them!! We did get to meet his parents for supper and had a great visit with them. Our romantic evening ended with us at Home Depot!! I needed a fan for our bedroom and a vacuum cleaner, however, we wound up with a digital thermostat!! We left and came home and I got to sleep late on Sunday. I actually slept way too late. But I needed that time to recharge.

Yesterday was spent doing laundry only to still have 10 more loads to go today and still in trouble for not having clean clothes for everyone!! Jeez, you would think a little gratitude would be nice simply because he did have clean underwear!! Oh well, today will be spent doing more laundry and ironing and maybe a little house cleaning...noticed I said maybe!!

Kids in trouble

2008-10-09T08:58:00.004-05:00

I usually try not to say too much about my job, for many reasons, but lately it is all I have thought about. Mostly because I have been so busy with my job and not as much time with my family. My job requires traveling and I hate missing my family. Ryan, I will tell you now and a thousand times more that I am sorry I have been gone so much and you have been wonderful through this difficult time. I love you more than anything.

Anyway, lately with my job, I have been dealing a lot with kids, and I say kids because they are under the age of 20 but over the age of 17 and the law considers them adults. As I sit and type this, I pray that my children will not do some of the things that I have had to deal with. There are some kids who come from good homes, or at least I think they are good homes, who are completely screwed up. By screwed up, I mean into drugs, into violence, drug trafficking and that scares me. Then I have some kids whose home life I'm sure is less than "normal", who are the same way. There was a kid who lives in Oklahoma who was placed on probation for Possession of a Controlled Substance. The controlled substance he possessed was shrooms. This kid is 18 years old and is on felony probation. He lives at home with his mom and dad, mom and dad pay for him to go to college and will probably wind up paying his probation fine and court costs for him. At the same time, I had a 20 year old who was placed on felony probation for Possession of Marijuana. He is the oldest of 4 boys and he lives with his uncle in Florida. He had to drop out of school to start work to help support his brothers. He will more than likely spend the next 5 years trying to get this paid off. The reason I mention these two particular stories, is this is just not happening in Carson County. Most of you know there is a particular case that I have been dealing with and the parent(s) seem to ignore what everyone is telling them. They still think that their child is fine and he is not. Not by any means. As a parent, if anyone sees either of my children do something they are not suppose to be doing, please get on to them or tell me and I will get on to them. I do not want my children to go down a wrong path. I do not want my head to be buried in the sand or minimize what my child is doing. My parents kind of had the philosophy that it takes a village to raise a child. If I did something wrong, someone got on to me, whether it was my parents, a neighbor or someone in the community. I know I made some wrong decisions in my life, but those decisions did not land me in jail and in serious trouble. I'm trying to raise my children to be smart, not to be tempted, to stand up for what they believe in, and to do what is right, even if it means they will not be popular. (I'm starting to sound like my parents!) My ramblings probably do not make much sense to anyone but me. And I think I have been spending way too much time at work. But I am serious if you see my children acting up or doing something they are not suppose to, please correct them or let us know.

The Weekend Already?

2008-10-04T12:37:00.003-05:00

I cannot believe that today is Saturday and the beginning of my weekend. I had a pretty good week, even though it started too early in the morning, Monday was court in Wellington. Drive to Wellington, only to turn around and come right back. Tuesday was spent catching up and getting a lot of things done since I knew I would be gone the rest of the week. Wednesday started really early for me, actually, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all started the same way!! I got up at 5 (which I am no way used to!) and was gone from the house by 5:30 or 5:45 those three mornings. I had training in Amarillo which is one of my favoirte conferences to attend. It is the Women in Criminal Justice Conference. It has some really good speakers from around the area who come every year and discuss several different topics. It also gives women in the criminal justice field an opportunity to meet and talk with other women in our field. There were several women who I talk with on a regular basis and after several years finally was able to meet them face to face. Some of the speakers I know personally and it is awesome to be able to hear them speak at a conference. One man in particular, now works for the Carson County Sheriff's Department. He has stories upon stories from his career in law enforcement. The most facinating thing about him, he analyzes handwriting and has for several years. He has seen the ransom note in the Jon Benet Ramsey case, he has seen the handwriting of Charles Manson (his handwriting is not legibile), he has the handwriting from John Hinkley, and the list goes on and on. About two years ago, he asked me to sign my name and he would analyze it....He did and it was right on!! It amazed me just how my signature could tell him so much about me. Another speaker was Peter Harrell Jr.. If you are ever able to hear him speak, I encourage you to attend. He speaks on several different topics. Two topics he spoke about were Verbal Judo and Gender, Culture and Communication. It was awesome. he broke down a lot of misconceptions about our culture, the American Culture. His speech made me think about the different cultures we are in contact with every day and how to communicate with them without feeling awkward or making the other person feel awkward. Another one of my favorite speakers, Dr. Harry Hueston, from WT came and spoke about how safe is our workplace. Brought a lot of interesting things to the table. If an active shooter were to come into our place of business, where ever it might be, what would you do and even if you had a plan, would you be able to carry it out? What to do to survive an active shooter and how to help those who are in the line of fire. He talked about the Virginia Tech shootings and really amazed us all.

Friday, I got to go to my conference, but then had to leave to go to court. I get to court and find out that I will have several pleas in Carson County. Several? Oh boy!! I was in Panhandle by myself and wound up doing 8 pleas that day. Keep in mind, we were under the assumption that it was just a docket call with no pleas likely. I know going to Carson County could entail having pleas, I thought I was ready. I finally got to leave Panhandle at 5:45 and made it home at 7:20 and I was starving. But you know, even after it was all said and done, the previous days and the reflection on it made my trip home pretty good. What made the trip even sweeter was returning home to my family. They are the reason I drove every day instead of staying up in Amarillo, mostly to help Ryan out!!

My top 10 favorite movies

2008-09-30T20:48:00.002-05:00

Ok..I had to do a lot of thinking to come up with my top 10 favorite movies. I know Ryan's better than my own!!

1. Anastasia
2. Jungle Book (either the real live version or cartoon)
3. Any Lethal Weapon
4. The Matrix
5. Big Fish
6. There is Something About Mary
7. Monsters Inc. (this was Tanner's favorite since before he could talk and now mine)
8. Hook
9. The Dark Knight
10. Toy Story

I'm probably the only one who has animated movies is their top 10!! I guess when I have watched so many of them for so long, they become favorites!!

The Mills' Girls!

2008-09-29T10:52:00.004-05:00

I know that title sounds a little funny, but I have a house full of girls. They smell and sometimes act like boys, but deep down they are girls!! I haven't caught them putting make-up on or painting toenails, but I have caught them having a pillow fight. Look who happens to be in the middle!! They are using Ella as protection!!

The whole reason that any of this started was Ryan was taunting Tanner and the fight then ensued. Next thing I know, Tanner starts taunting me?! Why? I don't know, but Ryan has the nerve to say, "What has gotten into him? Why does he do that?" I take a step back and look at him. Really? Are you kidding me? Do you really have to ask?

Sunday morning Tanner and Ella got ready to go to church with my mom and dad. Tanner woke up his solemn sweet self. Oh how I wished that he would have stayed that way all day. Oh no!! More running of the mouth. So this time, I decided to put a stop to it. I had him pinned on the ground with him still running his mouth. Ella at one point got up on top of me to help me with Tanner. She would then tell me to giddy up!! I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to take him out if I need to, but at least I can for now!

Am I a Terrible Mother?

2008-09-25T09:07:00.003-05:00

Oh my poor son!! He has a big red strawberry in the middle of his forehead. It is not small either. I feel terrible. Let me tell you what happened...
In second grade, the kids get to begin to compete in UIL events. Tanner had chosen to try-out for two events. However, on Monday, we find out that the two events he would like to do at competition time are usually close together and he may not be able to do both. So, we think ok, he won't do one and just do the other. But, what we didn't know, he still needed to try out for both of them. Poor Tanner should have been practicing all week on his poem for his try out. Yesterday came the time to try out and Tanner was nervous because he had not practiced his poem at home like he was suppose to because his parents are idiots!! But because he is so nervous, he scratches his head until he has a strawberry! He got to try out with a poem that he spent maybe 5 minutes on and apparently did a pretty good job. Every time I look at his head I feel terrible that he was so nervous about screwing up because he didn't practice!! I know, he survived, but I feel like I failed him.

Disconnected from the world

2008-09-23T15:52:00.002-05:00

This weekend has been a mad house. Friday at lunch Ryan asked if I would go to Fritch with him. He said he needed help at the ball game. Being the loving wife I am, I called my mother at the last minute. Do you mind? Thank you mom, I love you and owe you so much!! We go to the game and I get to drive home as he is writing the football article.

Saturday we get up and head to go eat breakfast and then to the Jr.High for flag football. Ryan said he wasn't going to be a coach. He can't resist telling Tanner what to do and how is the best way to do it. Tanner of course, loves it!! After the game, we head home while Ryan is telling Tanner that the only reason the big girl was blocking him was because she liked him, which in turn gets Tanner all riled up and a fight persues. We get home and Ryan starts telling Tanner how to stand and how to get around big girls. Ella who is standing in her pull-up gets down in the stance with the boys and as they raise up, Ella heads right for Ryan. Oh yeah, she took him out!! I was so proud!! I told her to remember how she did that so if a boy messed with her, she could take them out!!

Later Satruday we get a phone call from Josh Johnson, Ryan's grandmother had died. So, we get to deal with his family worried not that their mother/grandmother has died, but what Ricky, my father-in-law will have to say to each of them. Anyone who knows my father-in-law knows he is a man of few words. But let me tell you. I have never seen him mad, much less so furious that I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack. The family decided it would be best just to do graveside services so the family didn't have to all be together for too long. If they would have, there might have been a killing.

I feel like so much has happened in the world and I know none of what is going on. I hate feeling that disconnected. I had to look at a calendar today, just so I would know what day it is and what I would need to do for the rest of the week. I know that I have still been working, but right now everything seems so surreal!!

10 reasons I love Fridays!

2008-09-19T10:35:00.003-05:00

Here goes...
1. I love knowing that I get to spend the entire weekend with my family.
2. I usually don't work on Fridays!!
3. I can do laundry all day Friday and don't have to worry about it for the rest of the weekend
4. Going to Wal-Mart at 10 in the morning and it's pretty empty!
5. Not having to get up and be at work at 7am
6. Being able to go to bed Friday night knowing that Saturday is our family breakfast outing!!
7. I can watch my soap operas(love me some Y&R and GH!)
8. I love it that I can go get Tanner from school!
9. I get to spend some time with Ella by ourselves (but glad when dad comes home!!)
10. We(Ella and I) get to take a nap!!

Happy Cake

2008-09-19T09:33:00.005-05:00

This week has been a pretty good week for a little girl. She has gotten to eat Happy Cake twice!! She is so pumped. Monday was Pop's(Ricky's) birthday. As part of the birthday celebration, Ryan and I cook whatever the birthday person wants for their birthday. Pop wanted some fajitas and we readily obliged. Before we ate, I was trying to get Ella to sing Happy Birthday to Pop. Everyone but Ella sang Happy Birthday to him. While we are eating Ella announces she is ready for some Happy Cake. I told her before she could eat any she had to sing Happy Birthday to Pop. We waited and no song. So we all begin talking again and she starts singing happy birthday in her sweet voice. We all stop to hear her and she stops singing. We start talking again and she starts singing again. We kept talking quietly so Pop could hear her sing. It was so sweet!

Then my grandmother had her birthday on the 17th, but she wanted to celebrate last night. I tried to get her to let me fix supper for her, but she said it would just be easier to go eat. Ok, I'm not going to argue with an 88 year old woman. (I pick my battles! Sometimes!) Anyway at supper Ella announces again she is ready to go to mamaw's house to eat some happy cake. By this time she knows she is suppose to sing Happy Birthday, but still refuses. Everyone had a piece of cake and was talking...and she finally pipes up and starts singing Happy Birthday.

I don't know why she is so stubborn. Must take after her dad!!

Bedtime Prayers

2008-09-14T11:42:00.004-05:00

As a kid growing up my parents would say a bedtime prayer with me. I remember every night as I lay in my bed, my mom or dad would come in and say a bedtime prayer with me. I was a little sad when they no longer did that with me. It was a special time with my parents, just me and them saying a prayer together thanking God for all the blessings he had given me as a kid.

About 5 1/2 years ago, I started with Tanner, saying a prayer. We used the prayer that his prayer bunny said. "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. To angels watch me through the night, until I wake in morning light. Amen." I started saying one with him before he could talk well, so he would know that it is a special time with me or Ryan. We still continue to say a prayer every night with him.

When Ella was first born, Tanner would always want her in his room to say a prayer before he went to sleep. As Ella got older she was going to bed before he was, so she wasn't always awake for him to say his prayer with. Now, that she is older, she is the one who is asking to tell Tanner goodnight and to say a prayer with him. All of us, Ryan, Tanner, Ella and myself all pile on Tanner's bed to say a prayer, tell each other goodnight and that we love them. Last night, I thought we were going to have to call Tanner to say a prayer with him over the phone. I told Ella that I would say one with her. At first that wasn't good enough, but she finally relented. We said our prayer and then she leaned over to me and kissed me on the forehead and said "Goodnight sweet Momma. I love you." I then leaned over to her and kissed her forehead and said, "Goodnight my sweet Ella. I love you." It wasn't long and she was asleep.

By far, this is my favorite time of the day. My children and husband are actually sweet to one another and they really do love one another. As a mother, that is the best feeling in the world. To have my family together with love.

Little Ears

2008-09-13T17:22:00.002-05:00

I know that little kids are like spounges. They absorb so much of what we do, how we act and what we say. Today was no exception for Ella. In the past Ella wants to get on the computer like mommy and pay bills. She gets up in the chair, clicks the mouse and punch some keys. So she paid some bills. Today, I wanted some ice cream and Ryan said he would take us to go get some. I grab my badge, it has my id's and debit card in with it. Ella loves carrying it when we go places. She enjoys pulling them out and putting them back. No big deal. Today, she pulled out my id from my office. She said "This is my card." I said no, it's mommy's. "No it's mine, I need to pay bills." Ryan started laughing. I'm thankful she mimics me and glad that she doesn't mimic her dad! We might be in trouble.

Blessing?

2008-09-05T17:51:00.006-05:00

We just found out today that my parents are not moving. I have mixed emotions now, like I did when he found out he was one of the finalists to be interviewed. He was actually one of the top two. Anyway, it brings a huge sense of relief to me, but along with that relief comes guilt for being happy that they are not going and sadness for my dad. In the words of my father "If it were meant to be, it would have happened. There are other things in store for us." I was telling a very good friend today about it and she said that it is a blessing because now they don't have to worry about selling their house, finding another one, trying to get packed up and everything that comes with moving to a new town. She is right. But I still feel guilty for being happy they are not leaving.

I love my dad and admire him for his strength and dedication that he has. He works very hard and is a very stubborn man, and Ryan says I am a lot like him. I admit that I am. I know my dad is not perfect, but I am fine with that. He is the reason why I am who I am. He taught me to be independent, sometimes too much!! He taught me how to work hard, be happy and how to roll with what has been given to us, no matter how tough it is. I am glad he is not going and excited that my family and I will be able to spend more time with them and create more memories. Have more Saturday morning breakfasts with them, go to church with them, eat lunch with them and yes, have a babysitter(I know, I am being selfish!).

Bath time

2008-09-04T08:07:00.005-05:00

Last night was an interesting night. We didn't do a whole lot at our house. I didn't have to fix supper so I was being pretty lazy. Anyway, I decided to go tan and leave Ryan with the kids so I could. He decided to give Ella a bath while I was gone. I got back and Ella was still in the bath tub. Tanner has just gotten in the shower. I go into Ella's bathroom and she is playing in the tub and Ryan begins to tell me that she had pooted in the bathtub and had some pretty big bubbles and apparently thought it was funny (I'm trying to spare details!) Anyway, Ryan walked out and I hear that she is still making her own bubbles, and I tell her it would be a good idea to stop as she is laughing-apparently Ryan got a kick out of it and laughed so she thought it was fun!! The next thing I hear is "Uh-Oh"....yes she pooped the bathtub...A LOT!!! So, now I get to pull a kid out of the bathtub, scoop poop out of the tub, throw toys away (I was not cleaning them!!) and clean the tub just so I could give her another bath!! UGH!! Why does she act like a boy sometimes? She thought it was great...making her own bubbles...playing in the water...making her daddy laugh!! Granted, I know the tub needed to be cleaned, but I had planned on doing it Friday when I was off!! OH WELL! I am going to pay for Ryan's raising...please pray for me!!!

2008-09-01T10:04:00.003-05:00

I want to first say Thank you to everyone who came Thursday night...I had an awesome time and needed that night. Thank you so much....Also, Casey, if you are reading this...underpass? I was so confused!!

As I was downloading pictures off my camera, I had forgotten that I had taken the pics of the kids dressing up. I had worked hard cleaning the house and they had helped all day...so that night, they decided to get in the play clothes...Ella had soo much fun and Tanner did too!!

This weekend, the kids and I rode down to my sister's house with my parents. I was wanting the kids to be able to go down there and see them before I knew we wouldn't be able to get away. We did and had a great time, it just wasn't enough time in the weekend to do all we wanted. The boys and Ella played outside quite a bit....And poor Jake,the baby wasn't able to play with them, he wanted to and got mad when he wasn't close enough. But we had a great trip. Rode 4 wheelers, played in the sand box, watched movies, played video games, went swimming, and came home with two exhausted kids. They slept on the way home, but none the less were tired when we got home.

Do these kids look like they are up to something....Cason, Ella and Tanner are ready to eat and don't want to wait...

Jake is a chunk, he is 5 months old...He is so happy!!

Tanner had to put on goggles....

Guess who else did?!

The kids did miss their dad and I did too...Ella especially missed wrestling with her dad. She tackled Cason at one point because he was laying on the ground and she did what she thought she was suppose to do!! Too bad, my camera wasn't around!!
We are glad to be home and back to a routine...but I had a great weekend with my friends on Thursday and family on the weekend!!

Wohoo!!

2008-08-26T16:41:00.002-05:00

I finally talked him into doing it, but I think I had a little help from Toby!!! Thanks Toby! Ryan is now blogging. He has had an account and loves to read everyone else's. So I told him it was only fair to post one too, so everyone else can read his take on our crazy life!! I may not like that in the not to distant future, but at least you will probably get a good laugh. GO check his out...

And it's only Sunday

2008-08-24T07:47:00.003-05:00

This seems like it has been a whirlwind of a weekend. I had to work on Friday and then finish up buying Tanner's school supplies, go to the grocery store and start laundry. I still wasn't feeling too good, but knew it had to get done. I get off work, head the my grandmother's to pick up the kids and then on to United and The Dollar Store to finish it off. Tanner and I got that part accomplished and then we went to buy groceries. We came home and I started laundry. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful.
Saturday started off pretty well. Ryan went with Toby and KP to see if they could find any trapped hogs. Came back that morning with a snake...the whole snake thing gives me the creeps, but at least we didn't keep it!!
Then came the annual try on everything in the closet to see what clothes we need before school starts. It took us about an hour and a half if not longer to go through all of Tanner's clothes. Not only because he has that many shirts, like Ryan, but because we can't try clothes on without both of them trying to get cheap shots in at each other. Ryan helps him pull his shirts off and on while punching him in the stomach or any other body part that he can happen to hit. Tanner also helps by getting in just as many cheap shots as possible, like a slap across the face with a shirt sleeve or as he is putting his arm through his shirt trying to punch his dad. Head butts are exchanged as well. Lovely, just lovely...makes me wonder how many children I have to raise. They have fun though.
About 3:30 we wound up in the er. I had had enough itching, that wasn't getting any better and my rash was spreading. We tried the clinic first, but they were closed so we headed to the er. Let me explain, I cleaned our rent house and wound up with ring worm. Then I had to go to the Dr. to get medicine to help clear it up. I had some ointment and oral medicine. Then I had to go back and get some prescription benadryl and Zyrtec for the itching. Only to go back and find out that I am possibly allergic to the oral ring worm medicine...thus the rash and itching. I have itched for four weeks with no relief it was only getting worse and Ryan had had enough. I told him I could wait until Sunday to go to the clinic, but I was so drugged up from the prescription benadryl and tired I wasn't arguing too much. I got to get a steroid shot and more prescriptions. And so far, I don't have near as many spots from the rash and I GOT TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT!!!! That is the highlight of my weekend. My itching MAY finally be going away!!
So, we decided last night to go to Wichita Falls and get Tanner some more pants, jeans and shoes. I can never predict his growth cycles, nor how much he will grow. But I can with Ella, I know it makes no sense. Hope everyone had a great weekend before school starts tomorrow.

Going green

2008-08-22T10:22:00.005-05:00

I know everyone these days is thinking about the eco system and how to preserve what we have left. I agree, but hate giving up the cleaning stuff I use that I know works. The other day I was out of dishwasher soap so I go to Wal-Mart to buy it and the price on it has gone up again. (I'm also trying to spend less and save us some money!) Anyway, I found that Palmolive makes an Eco friendly dishwasher soap and it is less expensive than my good old soap that I have used for years. I thought, ok, give it a try and if it doesn't work, go back to what I know works. So far, it has done better than my other soap. I was so happy. Not only did I pick up dishwasher soap but just regular dish soap as well. And it is eco friendly as well...also by Palmolive...it's Pure and Clear and it does just a great as job as the dishwasher soap. I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone is thinking stuff like that doesn't work. I know I was skeptical, but I thought what the heck, it's cheaper and if it works, it works, if not I will go back to my other!! Anyway, hope everyone has a great day!!

13 thoughts

2008-08-21T14:56:00.003-05:00

ok...you win...
*My house is a total wreck and I need to get it picked up
*Oh my gosh-today is Thursday and I still have another day to work
*Will I ever quit itching? (UGH!)
*I wonder what is under my ceiling tiles...will I be able to take them down?
*Will Ella ever quit asking for her pap?
*When am I going to get the house cleaned and laundry done?
*I need to go shopping
*I'm ready to feel normal again
*I have an awesome husband who thinks I am wonderful (even though I know I haven't been, he still tells me I am)
*I need to quit drinking so many vanilla dr. pepper's
*I don't want to go to court on Monday
*Happy Birthday Jennifer- we are thinking about you today
*I am happy for my wonderful family who is the best.

Survivor

2008-08-19T11:08:00.003-05:00

We are now playing Survivor at the Mills' household. Ella has lost her pap and it is no where to be found. Last night was her first night without it and considering all, went pretty well. She cried while going to sleep, "I want my pap, Daddy, go find my pap" "I want my pap" Finally, she gave up and went to sleep. Slept all night until 5 this morning when a clap of thunder woke her up. I knew I had to get up a few minutes after she woke up and just threw her in bed with Ryan and I. She never really went back to sleep and was in rare form this morning before I left. I don't know how my mom will fare today without pap and hope that today is not too bad for her sake. Say a prayer for us that all goes well and she doesn't find it today at my mom's(that is where she lost it). Hopefully, this is it, no more pap!!

The Talk

2008-08-18T19:44:00.004-05:00

Every parents worst day is hearing the words, "The Talk." At the Mills' household today is no different than that day for some of us. Ryan, to be specific. Tonight as we are fixing our hamburgers, Ryan tells Tanner that he will help him another night get his shower ready just to make sure he knows what to do. I look at Ryan with a puzzled look and I said, "I thought he already did. He did that all by himself one night a few weeks back." Ryan's face had such disappointment. He realized as Tanner was fixing his plate, that his little boy is growing up. He is the one who normally fixes Tanner's plate for supper or helps get his shower ready and those two things, he was doing on his own tonight. As we finally sit down to eat, Tanner informs us that he is growing up and needs to take responsibilities. That it is part of growing up and that he doesn't need us as much anymore. Ryan walked back into the kitchen completely defeated, shoulders slumped and the realization that he is in fact growing up. Of course, there is humor in just about every situation-this is no different. Ryan trying to see just how far he would go, asked "Do you need to start shaving tonight?" Tanner said "Uh, I don't have anything to shave." It was the funniest thing, the tone of his voice was unbelievably funny. I had to walk out of the dining room.
Earlier tonight I had asked Tanner to take his shirts to his bed while I was putting away more laundry. Tanner without prompting goes to his closet and starts taking hangers out to hang his shirts on. Ryan and Ella come in from the volleyball game and without any prompt from me Tanner asks Ryan, "Dad do you hang your clothes up?" I had to turn around and walk out of the kitchen because I thought I was going to laugh. Ryan very confidently says "Yeah." (I'm rolling with laughter!) Ryan is still trying to keep a straight face and asks why. Tanner says I was just wondering. I guess he doesn't think his dad has many responsibilities.
God knew when he gave me Tanner, that I would need him. He is very patient, very kind and very loving. He can also be very straight forward and right to the point. He is wise beyond his years and my little boy is no longer so little. I guess too, that it is sad for me as well. I miss him curling in my lap and actually fitting. I take him for granted sometimes too. I try to slow down and take in all the moments I can with him. They have gone by so fast. I hope that what I do for him, gives him a strong foothold on the man he becomes. I just wish he would have told me that he doesn't need me as much 10 years from now, not right now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-08-12T08:05:00.004-05:00

Ok, I know you are going to probably get mad at me, but I am going to do it anyway. Happy Birthday Ryan!! I know I was groggy when I left this morning and not really with it, but I wanted to wish you a Happy 35th Birthday. I hope you have a great day!! I love you!!! Just be glad it was just one picture in the paper!!

Great Idea

2008-08-11T08:00:00.003-05:00

Everyone knows I am semi working on getting rid of Ella's pap(pacifier). I was kind of hoping it would fall in a river while we were fishing or accidently get left on the bumper. But then I thought, do I really want a 9 hour ride home without it? The other night, we stopped by some of our dear friend's house and she had a great idea. Ella was talking about the moon and that her pap was broken. Sharon came up with the great idea that the moon could fix her broken pap!! Ella was a little unsure, but if it fixed her pap, she was up for it. Only problem, they couldn't see the moon. So, we took the pap home that night and the next morning, Ella was talking about the man in the moon fixing her pap. Still on her mind. I told her that the man in the moon would have to keep it to fix it and she wouldn't be able to use it!! Yesterday afternoon, I had some things to take by to some people and Ella and Ryan wanted to go with me. After we made one stop, Ella says "Here mom, send pap now" It was a very pitiful voice being she was tired. I told her we would have to wait until tonight to send it when we saw the moon out. She was quite realived that we didn't send it right then. So, last night comes and she finds the moon while it is still light outside. She holds her hand up and says "Here moon, Here my pap" She stood for a minute waiting to see what would happen and when nothing happened she brought it to me. I told her I would take care of it and send it to the moon. We lasted about 30 minutes without it. She said she needed it back. I told her it would still be broken because the man in the moon didn't have enough time to fix it. She whined a little and said ok. She then looked at me and said "Tomorrow." Thank you Sharon for such a great idea! Hopefully, it will pan out and we will be free from pap soon!!

On another note, the car is here and Ryan is pumped. After we picked it up, we were going to go eat. Ryan says, I will follow you. Ok... Well, not ok. I was going the speed limit of 40 and had to keep slowing down until I was going 20. Ryan was playing with his new car and not even paying any attention to anything else. In Lubbock, we were creeping along at 20 mph!! I thought we were going to get ran over! Anyway, his new car is here and he is so excited.

Home!

2008-08-04T08:21:00.005-05:00

There is nothing like walking in to your home and the smell of being there. That is unless you forgot to take the trash out before you left for a week. We didn't, but I have done it before. We survived the 10 hour trip home from Colorado and really it wasn't a bad trip.(Just a quick note...I need help on getting the pics to post the right way...I have tried and can't...so the pics are a little out of order. Sorry.)
The kids and I at the radio towers

Tanner and Ella waiting patiently!

We had an amazing trip....Ryan got to fly fish, I got to shop, Tanner got to do nothing and Ella got to be pampered. Ryan is now the proud owner of some waders, yes, he is all about fly fishing. Of course, after soaking everything he had on the first day, I decided that I would buy him some waders for Christmas. After the second day of fishing his dad decided they would buy him some for his birthday. After the third day of fishing, Nesey bought him some waders. He even has his own creel. Next on his to do list is a fly rod!! We will see what Santa brings!! Of course, there is also the golf clubs he wants Santa to bring as well!!

My favorite place to shop is Pagosa Springs. I don't know why I love that place so much, but I do. I find some of the most comfortable clothes there. Last year was my polka dot pj pants, this year some light weight cotton pants....awesome!! Not to mention the fudge that is to die for...they make it fresh everyday!!
Ryan fishing

Tanner fly fishing

If you look you can see Ryan's pants are wet, thus he needed some waders!!

Nothing like potty training with no potty around...had to bring our own!!

Tanner was able to learn how to fly fish this year. Hopefully, next year he will have his own rod and be able to do better. He is so excited that he will have his own rod. He wanted to go with his dad, but dad doesn't have patience, so he had to go with Nesey. I was impressed at how well he fishes!! He had to wade in the streams, even though his feet were bright red from the water being so cold. You know, it's a wonder he didn't get sick. He is such a great big brother. He tries to hold her hand and take care of her, even though she hits him and slugs him. Tanner played with her and even let her help him play games. He and his dad did well, no wrestling or fighting for a week!! Wonderful, quiet, peace. Then we head home and both start running their mouths. Can't wait to get home to beat each other up. The funniest thing happened on the way home. We ate breakfast at the Hungry Logger before heading out. Tanner ordered a pancake sandwich....it was two HUGE pancakes, with eggs and at least 4 slices of bacon. Tanner at all the eggs, all the bacon and half of the pancakes. We get to Walsenburg which is about two hours from South Fork and Tanner asks "What is for lunch?" Are you kidding me? You just ate two hours ago and you are wanting to know what is for lunch? Ryan says well what do you want? To which the reply, "I want some food yo!" Ugh!! Boys!!
Ella had so much attention while we were gone it wasn't even funny. Of course, she only wanted me, but everyone jumped for her when she said she wanted or needed something...including her dad. Being with her all day, I was able to catch some of the candid things she says and just laugh at her. She is so funny on the things she picks up on. Just like her trying to fish with her pap(pacifier). Everyone else was fishing and I guess she thought that pap would work!! Wednesday, we went fishing and Ella decided she wanted to pet a fish. I don't know why, but she did. Of course, we had to wait until one was caught. Ryan finally came back with two and Ella got to pet the fish. Tanner wanted to hold it, so then she did too. As soon as Ella had it in her hand, she dropped it and said "Nasty fish, Nasty. Yuck." Wednesday night we were walking to eat at a restaurant down the street from our cabin and I was holding her hand and walking. Her dad walks up beside her and asks if he can hold her hand. She says "My hand broke" and turns it upside down. I asked her why her hand was broke, She said, cause. Our trip home was just as entertaining, about the time we get to Walsenburg, Ella looks at me in the car and says, "Ok, I'm through. Ready to get down" She had already had enough of her car seat and I was thinking OH, the next 7 hours are not going to be good. But she surprised me and did extremely well. She did figure out that she could say that she needed to potty and get out of her car seat. The last time we pulled over for her, she never used the potty. We had her potty in the back of the car. So we pulled over, got the potty out, she was sitting on it just waving at the other cars as they drove by....just as proud as she could be!! "Nasty fish, nasty"

We had a great trip, glad to be in my BIG bed!!! I did get some scrapbooking done, so now I just need to finish last year's trip just to start on this one!!I hope everyone has a great week. We had a great trip and missed our friends. We are glad to be back...not necissarily for the heat, but just to be home!!

Greetings from Colorado

2008-07-28T16:16:00.002-05:00

Hello!! I just wanted to make a quick post and tell everyone that Colorado has been pretty chilly and wet. We left 7 hours prior to our original departure time. Ryan and I decided to leave while the kids slept, so that meant we drove all night!! We pulled out of Childress at 10pm and arrived in South Fork, CO at 5:30am. I was good until we got to Dumas and I was beginning to crash. Ryan was hyped up on Red Bulls. About 5 minutes after he would drink one, he would be wired like he was on crack...He would start fidgeting and scratching!! That is what was keeping me awake, laughing at my husband. His parents were up when we arrived and very surprised to see us. We then went to eat and Ryan and I crashed for about 2 hours after that.
Yesterday was my day with Ryan and we had a great time. We got to eat good food and enjoyed a great movie. Today, they tried to fish while I was keeping Ella out of the water. She wanted to go swimming and pet the fish, but she didn't want to get in the cold water. She even tried to fish with her "Pap"(Pacifier) She would dangle it over the water and say "Here fish." We got to eat before the rain set back in again today. The weather has been wonderful and we are enjoying ourselves. I will post some pics once we get back.

Busy Saturday

2008-07-22T09:04:00.004-05:00

Do you remember me telling you that we were sent home with a box from Ryan's mom's house? Well, I had taken this picture and forgotten about it until I started downloading it from my camera. In the box that was sent was this wrap around towel/robe that was given to Ryan. Tanner saw it and thought it was too cool. So now after a shower, he proudly sports his dad's wrap!!

We had a great weekend. We didn't have much to do on Friday. We went and ate supper, then we took the kids to the park. Ella quickly figured out how to crawl up the rock formation and slide down the slide!! It bothered me to have her climbing by herself, but she was determined to do it!! Tanner got a surprise at the park. One of his friends, Caleb showed up at the park. He was pumped. He got to play with one of his friends. However, instead of playing, they were talking. Talking about what? That was my question. I said, why were you talking about Pokemon? He said we weren't mom, we were talking about how to make money without having a business or company. What? Where did that come from? And why would you be trying to figure out how to make money without a business? He started explaining it, and at one point I quit listening. My mind was blown that instead of talking about toys, or things they have done this summer, they are already trying to figure out how to make money!!
Saturday was a busy day for us. We got up early to go eat breakfast with my parents. Ella had to call! Then after breakfast, we head down to the football field for Tanner to run in the 50 yard dash. I know, I would like to say that I am a runner, but after HAVING to do it in high school I just don't have the passion to do that anymore. I admire those of you who do, I think it is awesome! So Tanner, who after much taunting from his dad, wins the race and promptly goes over to him and says, "See, I'm not that slow Dad!" He was pumped because he proved his dad wrong!!
After the dash, we headed down to the Index so we can watch the Old Settler's Parade. We get there early, so hopefully, we can have some space where the kids can actually watch the parade in the shade this year. The kids enjoyed the parade and got a lot of candy to eat!! Not that they needed any, but still all of them got quite a bit.
Next was a small birthday party for Ella. She got probably everything she could want. She got some dress up clothes, a baby doll, some My Little Pony's, and clothes. Yea!! Some of this will be able to go to Colorado with us!! As soon as she was finished opening presents, she had to put on her dress up stuff. So we got all decked out with a tutu, slippers, wings, wand, necklace, bracelet, ring and tiara, all over her swimsuit. It was too cute. Then she goes back outside and wants to get in the pool with all of her stuff on. I had to take it off, so she could get back in. Anyway, my grandmother, who is 88 years old got to come to the party too. As we are cleaning up, Mama, goes inside with Ella and Ella goes straight for her trunk of clothes. Mama had to help her get all dressed up again. I don't know who had more fun. Ella or Mama. They both enjoyed helping each other out.
We were even able to spend some time that night with a few friends of ours. We had a great time getting to just sit down and talk with them. We really had an awesome weekend. We were fortunate enough to see lots of our friends and had a great time for Ella's birthday.

I almost forgot. Ryan is super excited. When we get back from Colorado, he will be able to go pick up his car!! He is so pumped about getting it. He got a phone call Saturday saying that it will be here and to come and get it!! Oh, he was like a little kid in the candy store!!

Mini vacation

2008-07-14T07:12:00.002-05:00

Ryan and I kind of had a mini vacation this weekend. It was awesome and we stayed right here in Childress!! Thursday, my mom asks me if she can take the kids to her family reunion. She knew I needed to work on the house and wanted to help me out. So Friday, I get off work, pack the kids up and Ryan and I are wondering what we are going to do for the next two days. Well, one day, we knew we would be working, but that is A LOT of time with just the two of us!! Especially when we are used to having them at home. About 6 Ryan and I are discussing what we are going to eat tonight. He says, let's go to El Sombrero. So we go, and come home. We were in and out in an hour on a Friday night!! We had a couple of movies from netflix and we decided we would watch one of them. I told him I wanted to relax and take a bath first. I did, and it was so crazy, I could actually shut the bathroom door and not be distrubed! Ryan kept walking by the bathroom to make sure I was ok!! We finally started our movie and went to bed late!!

The next morning we wake up at the usual time, 7:00 am. Our house is quiet, no children up watching tv, no one crying for momma. I felt like I was in another place. Ryan goes ahead and gets up, me on the other hand, roll over and go back to sleep. I got to sleep late!! I was super excited. I finally wake up and roll out of bed at 10:00am! Then comes what I have been dreading to do. I head over to our rent house and start cleaning. Let's just say, I wound up disgusted and almost threw up myself over the filth of the house. Anyway, we finally get the house cleaned and go home.

We get home and I told Ryan, I wanted to take another bath. I got two baths!! Not just a shower, but a nice relaxing bath!! I thought I was in heaven!! I put on my pj's and got comfortable. Ryan then tells me to get dressed, he wanted to go for a ride. So we did. By this time, my arms are starting to feel empty. I didn't tell him that though. He seemed to enjoy the peace. Our ride ends up in the cemetary. It was pretty neat. We were looking for his grandparents grave and we were just driving around looking at the other gravestones. By one of the trees I asked Ryan to stop. He did and I get out to look for my grandfathers grave. We find it and Ryan noticed something. My mom had told me last year about it, but I let it slip my mind. Ryan and I, were married on my grandfather's birthday. I asked mom why she didn't tell me that when we got married. She never answered my question. Someting else I had forgotten about was my nephews middle name. It just so happens to be my grandfather's middle name. My mom didn't tell my sister until a few years later. It is weird how we chose those things without knowing. We also found my other grandfather and my great grandparents graves as well. We kept looking for his and finally gave up and looked in the book that they have (we should have done it earlier, but we didn't!). We go look at where his grandparents are buried. We also found his other grandfather's grave as well. By this time it is getting dark so we head home.

We eventually go to bed and Ryan gets up at the usual time. I tell him not to let me sleep past 9:00am, roll over and go back to sleep. After I get up, we go eat and come home. I know the kids are coming home today, so I start cleaning, and Ryan even helped me!! We get the house cleaned and I start wondering what to do next. Yes, I had laundry going and was folding clothes, but I didn't have anything else to do in between loads. It was amazing!!

The kids come home and as I go to get them out of the car, I hear Ella screaming and crying. She did not want to come home. She wants to go to my sister's house. I have to literally drag her out of the car seat kicking and screaming. Her once fixed hair is now down all around her face. Tanner looks at me like mom, get her to hush!! We finally get inside and get their stuff out of my parent's truck and they sneak off. Ella finally settles down and starts to play with her toys in her room. My house is no longer empty, or quiet. I do not know what I am going to do, when my kids leave home. Ryan and I talked about that last night, as we are watching Gene Simmons. I laughed because Ryan will be the one who will follow the kids, like Gene did last night.

I needed that time without the kids. Even though I was busy cleaning and working, I needed that time with my husband. It gave me just enough energy to make it two more weeks. We enjoyed ourselves and are ready to go on vacation now!

Light at the end of the tunnel

2008-07-11T13:16:00.003-05:00

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Late yesterday before I left work, one of my guys showed up. A little background on him. He has been on probation for 5 years, which he only should have been on for 3, but with all of his screw ups he is still working through it. Last September, after numerous attempts to do outpatient treatment, he showed up to report and was drunk. He of course said he had drank the night before, but his eyes were glazed over. I looked at him and asked him if this is what he wanted. Did he really want to spend the rest of his life drunk and stoned all the time, living with other people, never having anything to show for? I knew he had some anger issues, parents never really supported him and he had a brother who was his partner in crime. I tried to play hard ball with him and tell him if he didn't care I would just go ahead and send him to the pen. I did tell him that day, that I thought it wasn't too late to turn his life around. He put his head down and said I will beat this. I told him I thought he needed treatment. He told me he could do it on his own, if I would just give him a chance. I told him no. If I take a chance on you, it will be with professional help, in a long term facility. Keep in mind, when I say long term, the maximum amount of time allowed because of funding issues is no more than 12 months. 12 months doesn't even begin to get through a third of some of their issues that have them addicted. He got mad at me and left. I went down and talked with the Sheriff who thought it would be a good idea to send him to treatment and get him out of Panhandle. With the support of the Sheriff, I began looking for treatment for this young man. Found him treatment and told him I had found a place for him. He turned himself in and two weeks later was on his way to treatment. Nine months later, he comes into my office. He successfully completed treatment. I wish I would have taken a before and after picture. He looks so healthy. He asked me why people keep saying that to him? I said you don't have sores on you, your eyes are clear and you have weight on. He just smiled from ear to ear. He still has a long road ahead of him for staying sober, but at least he has the groundwork for him to start over. He did ask me what I saw that made me take a chance on him. I said that there was something there that my gut was telling me was saveable. So yea, my job does have a lot of bad days, but the good out weigh the bad so much more. That little feel of victory is what keeps me going.

My job

2008-07-10T11:32:00.004-05:00

Every day I come to my job knowing what I am dealing with. Today is no different. I handle all of the female defendant's who live here in Childress County. My job is not always easy, and this I know. I know there will be those that I want to succeed when they don't want to and then those who finally do overcome. A couple of years ago, right after Ryan and I met, was my first hard day. I had been at the office and a girl (I say girl because she has the maturity level of a girl) comes in with two of her three children at the time. The baby had soured milk in his bottle, was dirty and just about to fall asleep. The other toddler was just a filthy and tired. We arrested the mother that day and the children were given to her grandmother who had her oldest son. My heart was heavy that day because to see those children, who were neglected just so their mom could get her high. Innocent children.

Today, I went looking for one of my girls. I found her and her children at home. The children sleep on a fold-away bed in the living room. The mom's bedroom door is locked. The youngest child happens to be in Tanner's class, and he is a good kid. He is also the one who answered the door. He tried three times to get his mom up. I finally had to go to the door and bang on the door and told her I needed to talk to her. She gets up and what I see, just disgusts me. She has lost even more weight since the last time I saw her a week ago, she has sores on her arms and looks like a meth head, eyes sucken in, all of it. She said please don't tell my kids. The sad part is, I don't have to tell the kids, they know just by the way she acts that she is back on drugs. My heart is heavy right now and I can't get those boys out of my head. I wrestle with what to do. Not as far as my job goes, but as far as being a parent. I want so bad to take those kids in and give them things I know they will never have, but because of my job, I can't take those kids. I have to let someone else take them and hope they are taken care of. These few instances are heavy to deal with. These are the times when you see the kids suffer. They have no choice, no voice and no one to stand up for them at home.